We’ve all been there, right? You know that you have to sleep. There are few hours left of the night before you have to get up to school or to work. You’re lying in bed, tossing and turning, closing your eyes and trying to sleep. You close your eyes and hope that you’ll fade into the land of dreams, but no can do.
For some reason you are wide awake.
I’n having one of those nights right now. It’s now 4.20 am in this writing moment. I have to get up at around six am and I’ve been trying to sleep since the timer passed one am. About 30 minutes ago I passed the point where I wanted to try any longer and I got up and am mentally prepared for a night without any sleep.
So whats keeping me up at night? I’m not really sure at this moment. Tomorrow is my first day back at work after the Christmas holiday and I can’t say I’m looking forward to it. We open the store at seven am which I find just absurd! Who has the need to go out shopping that early??
And of course my body has gotten used to having a few days off work. Being able to completely relax and not having to worry about anything and I’m so not ready to get back to reality just yet.
Luckily I only have two days of work before I have four days off again. My whole body and soul aches for those days! I need a break! I need time to focus my body and mind on the things that really matter!
And to be honest, my job now a days are showing me none of that. The Christmas consumerism is off the charts! People are using insanely amounts of money on gifts that aren’t personal at all. It just keeps getting worse and worse. I’m not saying that it’s true for everyone. I see some costumers who’s thought there gifts through and really want to put smiles on friends/families faces. But there are a lot more of meaningless exchange of money these days, unfortunately.
Maybe I just get extra depressed and negative about all of this because I work in a shop. The one work place where you really see all this and I don’t see all the other things that they do. And maybe I’m just too darn negative because I’m exhausted and didn’t get recharged as much the last few days as I was hoping for. No matter the reason, I’m stuck here in the kitchen wide awake writing about it and imagining how it would be to lie on a beach somewhere warm and quiet. To be able to work on my writing and to have fun with my son and my boyfriend.
Enough with the long face here.. I’m going to dive into my Stephen King book and forget the world around me until my alarm goes of and I have to get ready for work. I’ll put a smile on my face and do what I always do on a bad day; I’ll pretend that it’s the best day ever 🙂
I wish you all a wonderful day and night! And I promise to be in a more positive mood next time my fingers find their way to the keys.
Christina de Vries 