Books that Changed My Life

Now and again, I come across books that shift my way of thinking entirely. In this post, I will share some of the non-fiction books that changed my life.

If you’re a curious soul like me, and you have a soft spot for philosophy, then you’ve probably already heard about, listened to, and read some of Alan Watts’ work, if not all of it. But, if you haven’t, I would highly recommend doing so.

His way of thinking is fascinating, and I found it to be eye-opening on so many subjects.
I, for one, struggle with the fear of not knowing what happens to us after we die, and Watts’ thoughts around this, in particular, helped calm me down a little. But all in all, Watts’s thoughts and writing helped me shift my perspective and look at things differently than I did beforehand.
I recommend listening to them as audiobooks or just searching him up on YouTube.

The Book by Alan Watts

Out of Your Mind by Alan Watts

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I’ve written a post about this book and the diet culture that I didn’t know I was in a relationship with. You can read it here.

Megan’s book was a real eye-opener for me. I kind of knew that diet culture was all around, but I had no idea just how extreme it is or how much I’ve let it affect my life. This book made me realize just how hard I’ve been with myself and my body over the years.

This book made me look at food, advertisement, and exercise in a whole new way. It has given me a much more healthy relationship with food, a passion for body positivism, and I’m now the biggest @bodyposipanda fan!

Body Positive Power by Megan Jayne Crabbe

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I never thought about just how powerful it is to ask people for help. I’m one of those people who tried for way too long to do everything on my own because I was afraid that I would lose control of my creativity if I asked anyone else for help. Silly, right? I still struggle with that at times.

Palmer writes about how far you can come by just asking for help. By letting yourself be open, and to not be ashamed to ask if there’s something you need or want. It taught me the power of connection, especially when living a creative life.

Amanda Palmer has such a presence, and I got lost listening to her voice and her story. A fascinating read/listen!

The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer

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Yes! Yes! And more Yes!

I loved the message that Shonda Rhimes delivers in this book. I often find myself worried way too much about the “what if’s” of absolutely everything, and that can make me say no to opportunities, and then I end up regretting my decision to say no later on. Year of Yes made me realize just how powerful saying yes can be and how that can open unexpected doors that lead to places you couldn’t even imagine.

After reading this book, I’ve been more mindful about the responses I give to opportunities that present themselves to me. It was very inspiring and made me super motivated.

Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

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I just finished this book and I loved it so much! It had lots of great ideas and tips for any creative wanting to make their passion into a career, which is exactly what I’m trying to do at the moment (more on that in another post soon). I flew through this (listened to it on Libby) but I ended up ordering myself a copy so that I can go back to it later on in this process.

Cathy Heller had so much to share from her own experiences and also from the many people she’s had on her podcast, and it motivated and inspired me so much!

I definitely think that this is a good read for anyone who’s thinking about taking the leap of quitting that day job and go in pursuit of that career that you really want!

I’m so grateful that I randomly stumbled across this audiobook, and I will be reading it more than once. I will also start to listen to her podcast from now on to keep that inspiration and motivation up.

Don’t Keep Your Day Job by Cathy Heller

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Have you read any books that were life changing? I would love to hear about it!

💛If you buy via my affiliate links, I get a small commission 💛

What the Freckle?

Last week I was reading the news on my way to work, and there was this piece that stood out to me. It was about a ZARA campaign with a beautiful Chinese model who had her face covered in beautiful freckles. This campaign apparently got such an amount of backlash that it ended up as news all over the world, because to most Chinese people freckles are considered ugly.

Nope, I’m not making this up! But I almost wish I was.

I know the beauty/fashion industry is filled with outdated “rules” and beauty standards, but I really thought that people, in general, were past the point where we just accepted one kind of look.

How dare some people to look at what’s natural on someone else and speak up to call it ugly? What makes them think that they have any right to?

It made me so angry, and so frustrated! Being a dedicated part of the body positive community, it’s so much more than sizes and shapes. It’s all about being happy and comfortable in the body and the beauty that we carry.

No one should ever be able to tell you that the way that you were born is the wrong kind of pretty! Let me put a truth bomb out there;

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS THE WRONG KIND OF BEAUTY!

We all have different preferences, but that’s not the same. It’s still beauty, even if it is a kind of beauty that might not tickle your fancy. But everyone’s looks, bodies, and beauty is not made to please other people, or to allow them to voice a dislike of it.

The beauty that is you, is perfect! It’s perfect because it’s who you are! You shouldn’t be a product of what media and industries want you to be! You being here is the most perfect wonder of all!

Don’t get fooled into the lies they try to push down your throat, just for them to make more money off of insecurities. You are more than enough! You’ve always been more than enough!

You are beautiful, and I dare you to tell yourself that every single day! Every time you look in the mirror!

I’ve always loved the way the sun brings out my freckles, ever since I was a little girl!

And to the people that feel like they have a right to say that freckles are ugly, my own freckles and I would like to say; SCREW YOU, and YOU’RE WRONG! Freckles are beautiful! I even add some extra from time to time, just because I feel like my own freckles deserve a little sparkle!

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Diet Culture – The Relationship I Didn’t Know I Was In

I’ve never been on a diet. Never had a diet plan. Never felt the urge to diet. Or have I?

I’ve pretty much always been quite slim, but with some shifts up and down, depending on how dedicated of a workout routine I had. I never thought of myself as part of the diet culture. The thought didn’t even cross my mind. I just saw myself as a healthy (most of the time) person who enjoyed taking care of my own body.

I had no idea how wrong I was. Looking back now, I find it terrifying to know just how much. It turns out that diet culture and I have been in a relationship since before I was a teenager, and I had to turn 31 before I even knew about it!

Click on the cover if you want to know more about the book💖

I started listening to Body Positive Power by Megan Jayne Crabbe (bodyposipanda on Instagram) on Audible, and that’s when everything changed. I was on my way to work (lost in the audiobook while staring out the bus window) and then Megan started talking about the young age when girls (and a lot of boys as well) start to feel conscious and insecure about their bodies. She talked about the shame that we feel whenever we binge, and the restraints we put on ourselves to stay or reach a certain body weight or body type, and all of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach. I had goosebumps all over my body, and not in a good way!

I was sitting there, traveling back in time, and watching myself pinch and poke at my own body. I heard myself making excuses to other people (and to myself) for how I was no longer as fit as I used to be, but I was getting back into shape soon. I remembered the shame that I’ve felt, more times than I can even count, for the indulges of sweets and cakes when I was convinced that I should have eaten something else.

I felt nauseous thinking about how mean I’ve been to myself. How much I’ve mentally beat myself up because of a toxic culture, and I didn’t even know that I was doing it.

I’ve been on a self-love journey for some years now, and even though I’ve learned to appreciate me, my body and what it can do, I had no idea that I was putting so much strain and negativity on myself because of the media and the culture that I’ve grown up with. I thought I had a healthy relationship with my own body, and in many ways I do, and at the same time, I don’t.

It was such a shock, and it hit me like a punch to my soft, beautiful tummy. Why am I being so cruel to myself, when I don’t need to? When the only ones who are profiting on that kind of mental beatdown and cruelty is an industry that’s fueled with lies, power, money, and other people’s pain and insecurities?

I have followed Megan’s Instagram for a long, long time, and I’ve been rooting for her and the whole body positivity movement! But little did I know that I would end up completely baffled, and eternally grateful for being able to learn from her. To hear about her experiences, her knowledge, her pain, and her triumphs. I had no idea that a person that I’ve never met would be able to change the way I see myself and my body.

Megan, you are a force of beauty and nature, and this post is a declaration of love for the positive and true energy that you put out into this world!

I’ve cried a fair amount of tears while listening to Body Positive Power, but I’ve also learned to see myself in a new way❤️It’s a body positive journey, it’s hard, but it is also wonderful at the same time.

This was a wake-up call that I didn’t even know I needed! And I’ve never been more ready to break up and out of the toxic relationship with the diet culture that I had no idea that I was in❤️

Body Positivity is a movement needed NOW, more than ever, and I’m happy to say that I am a part of it! I will shout it to the world with my words, my voice and my art! The shame and mental beating have come to an end, and a whole new level of self-love and discovery has begun!

Thank you Megan, and thank you to the whole community of beautiful body positive people out there❤️My body and I am eternally grateful for all that you do, and all that you share!

With No Shame!

The photo is by the wonderful Thomas Amdahl 😊 Check out his Instagram here!

Isn’t it weird how the most natural part of us, the bodies that we are born in, are causing us so much anxiety, stress, and insecurity? How often do we look at it and think that it’s not good enough? How many times have we made plans and changes in our lifestyles just to alter our human form? How often have we compared ourselves to others? And how many of these times were we actually comparing our real bodies with those that are manipulated and unrealistic?

We grow up watching picture perfect bodies and faces and come to expect ourselves to meet those standards. We let ourselves be fooled into thinking that the fiction and manipulation that we see every day is in fact real.

It’s so unhealthy and we are all victims of the crime of doing it. Some way more than others.

And in the midst of all the fake, so many have become uncomfortable with their bodies and about nudity. They see it as something that’s filthy and offensive. This wonderful and natural thing that embodies our souls has been corrupted in the minds of its own beholders.

We should be able to talk more openly about our bodies, with no shame. We should be able to be proud of the skin we are in, with no shame. We should be grateful for the gift that it is, and what it allows us to do, with no shame.

It’s so wonderful to see that more and more fashion brands are choosing to use models of different colors, shapes, and sizes. That people so clearly has had enough of being fooled, discriminated, underrepresented, and deceived. The demand for real bodies and real images of those bodies are being heard, and it makes me so happy!

We have a long way to go though, but I think we have to start with getting a healthy relationship with our own bodies. We have to be grateful for what it can do. We have to fall in love with it and take good care of it, and yes sometimes that means just staying in bed and eat ice cream. Being good to ourselves and to love our bodies isn’t always about working out or eating super healthy. It’s also about allowing oneself to indulge and to enjoy. To not be so mean to ourselves. To find that childlike joy and curiosity in exploring our bodies.

So take the time to get to know your body. Be proud of the body that you have, even though you might be on a journey with it. Be mindful of the transformations and the senses.

Love yourself, with no shame ❤️

One Comment – Years of Insecurity

I started doing a bit of work in front of the camera right after I’d turned 18. It was exciting and different. It was a new way for me to be creative, but also a way to experience other people’s creativity.

Even though I did enjoy most of the modeling work that I did do back in the day, I do see a major difference on how I approached it back then and now.

I remember very well how it felt the first time a photographer told me that a certain company didn’t want to use me because I was too fair skinned. They wanted typical tanned Norwegian girls, and I did not fall into that category. It wasn’t a huge blow to my confidence, but I remember feeling it a little bit still.

There was another moment though, and that is one that I remember very clearly. I did an ad piece for a Norwegian shopping mall, and when the pictures were sent to me I was shocked to see that the face staring back at me was not one that I really recognized.

“I edited your face a little. Made your nose smaller and your eyes a little bigger.”

I had been struggling with insecurities about my nose for a long time, and I remember that as a point where it escalated, and every time I would look in a mirror all I would see was this big thing that was smack in the middle of my face.

It went as far as me booking a consultation with a plastic surgeon for a possible rhinoplasty, which by the way is a horrible name for that job! As if the people who reach out and consider doing something about their nose aren’t insecure enough about that part already!

I never went to the appointment, and slowly over time, I learned to love myself for who I am and what I got. Sometimes I still get really self-conscious about my nose, but it doesn’t overwhelm me like it used to.

Some people are so oblivious to the impact their words and their actions can have on other people’s lives. It’s frightening!

It took a lot of practice to learn self-love, and it’s something that I think is important to constantly work on. Our bodies change all the time, but it’s so important to be grateful. I have legs that walk, hands that can hold, arms that can hug, lips that can kiss and taste, a nose that can smell the things around me, eyes that see, no illnesses or allergies, and no pain in my everyday life. I’m so insanely lucky, and for many years I had a hard time focusing on that.

I was also incredibly lucky to get to work with some amazing photographers through the years that have helped me build my confidence and self-love instead of tearing it apart. People who make art because they love it, not because they want to make something that just fits into a certain box that is requested.

I am also very lucky to have grown up in families that are very body positive. Parents that have a very healthy relationship with their body and with nudity. Surrounded by people who were supportive and loving. If that hadn’t been a part of my upbringing, I’m not sure I would’ve coped as well with the comments and the insecurities that I’ve struggled with.

I also have amazing friends and we compliment each other all the time❤️ That’s something we always have and always will be doing!

I don’t work with photographers as often anymore, but it happens from time to time. I do however really enjoy taking my own pictures and doing my own editing in PhotoShop. But even though I love to play around with the editing, there is one thing that I’ve promised myself, and that is to never alter the look of my face or my body. I play around with colors and textures, and I might remove a pimple from time to time, but other than that I think it’s important to be true to oneself and to not let oneself be defined by fake reality.

My son will be a teenager in just a couple of years (I know!? Yikes!!) and I want him to grow up seeing real girls and real women being portrayed in movies, photos, and ads. I want him to appreciate real beauty and real human beings. And that does not apply to just women of course! I want him to grow up in a world where people are shown as the wonderful, fantastic, amazing and confusing creatures that we are.

I want him to have a healthy relationship with himself and his own body. To see the real beauty in the people around him, instead of searching for some unrealistic ideal of a human.

We all have the power to do something, and I think most of it starts with loving yourself. Find that self-love and that gratitude, and practice it as much as you can! Then go out into the world as a good example. Share the love and the gratitude!

And most importantly, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough! I know it’s hard, and I struggle alongside you, but the truth is that they have no right to tell you so! They have no right to try to define you or to change you. Set boundaries and don’t be afraid to let them be heard!

You are amazing and beautiful, no matter if some idiot(s) have told you differently!

And if you ever need a reminder of how awesome you are, then I am here! I will try my very best to share my love and my gratitude with you ❤️

☼

 Photo is by the wonderful and talented Isidoro Peregrino💛

I Love You, and I’m Sorry!

I’m sorry that I haven’t paid attention when you’ve been sending me all the signs. You tried so hard to tell me that I was being way too pushy and needed to back off a little, and calm down.

I’m sorry I ignored you when you tried to communicate with me. I’m usually way better at listening, but lately I know I haven’t treated you the way you deserve to be treated. I haven’t showed you the love that you need. And for that I’m truly sorry.

I see now that I’ve caused you unnecessary pain, and when you didn’t want to take anymore you started to hit back. You had every right to do so, and I deserved every blow I got.

I can’t promise that I’ll always be a better listener, but I’m going to try. And when you tell me to pay more attention to you, I promise I’m going to do my very best to do so.

My dear body, I love you and I’m sorry for neglecting you ❤️ I hope you can forgive me!

 

I’m So Sorry!

I know I talk to you all the time, and we share everything. But sometimes, there are things that I forget to tell you, and things I forget to do.

I don’t tell you that you’re beautiful every day…

I should! Because you are, even when you don’t think so. Even when you don’t feel like you are. Don’t believe anyone who tells you differently!

I don’t give you enough credit for all the hard work you do…

I know you work your ass off, and try to fit more hours in a day, even though you know you can’t. You’re a powerhouse of creativity, and all your hard work is going to pay off soon. You’ve already noticed that things have started to change, haven’t you?

When you’re down, I don’t always offer the loving words that you need to hear…

Which is a shame, because it is in those moments that you truly need me to say them. In many ways, I’m the only one you need to hear them from. Sometimes, those words are all that matters.

Sometimes I forget to give you space…

I know I can be demanding and sometimes I encourage you to do things, even when you don’t really have the energy to. I will try harder to remember that you need time to breathe and to relax.

I even put the whole world on your shoulder from time to time…

I will try not to. No one is strong enough to hold it all at once, not even you!

Truth be told, I don’t always believe in you…

That’s utter bullshit, and I’m so sorry! You’ve proven me wrong, over and over.

I scare you sometimes…

From time to time, I forget how fragile you can be. I forget to handle you with care in those moments. I tell you stories that has yet to come, and I can sense that they scare you out your mind sometimes. I really shouldn’t do that. Together we should prepare ourselves for likely outcomes, not be terrified of unlikely maybes.

I don’t tell you that I love you…

As often as I should!

This is the one thing that I regret the most, and I offer my sincere apology for that awful mistake. I will never be perfect, and there will be more apologies in the future, but never doubt my love for you!

Because I will always love you, even when it doesn’t seem like I do.

– Self Love