He cried and I was so proud!

About a week ago, I was working on editing a video for YouTube while my nine year old son was watching videos on his laptop. After a little while I noticed that he was watching something that apparently had his undivided attention, and I got curious. I asked him what he was watching. He told me he was watching a documentary on NRK Super (a web/tv channel for kids) about a boy that was bullied.

Some minutes passed and I could hear the story that this boy told in the background while I was working. It was heartbreaking to hear the cruelty that was done to him by his classmates. They had locked him inside of a classroom, and they’d beaten him up pretty bad. He was talking about how it all happened, how it felt afterwards, and how they eventually had to move and start a new life somewhere else because the bullying wouldn’t stop.

Being a victim of bullying as a teenager myself, I always find it hard to listen to stories like this. The cruelty of kids that don’t think their actions through makes my heart ache. I turned to Leander and saw that he was crying, and it warmed my aching heart.

How lucky am I to have a child that feels such empathy. To be able to watch someone else bare their struggles and pain, and through what he saw, he could feel it all. He could feel it so much that he couldn’t hold it in. It was beautiful to see an emotion so pure, brought forth by information that he himself had gone searching for.

It’s easy as a parent to focus on all of the things that we feel like we have done wrong, or could have done differently. But watching him have this kind of reaction, and talking about bullying with him afterwards, hearing his thoughts, that was a moment where I truly felt that I had done something right. Somewhere along the road, growing up to be the little man that he is, he’s learned to care for others. To love them for who they are and the life they choose live, even though he might not agree with all of it. He’s learned to respect others and to try not to judge them.

I will not take complete credit for this, but the amount of time we’ve used to talk about life, people and choices, I know that’s played an important part in this.

I’m so grateful that my son already is a seeker of knowledge, and I’ll keep on encouraging him. To try to give him as many tools as possible for him to be able to make the choices that will be right for him.

And maybe most importantly, it’s important for me that he knows that crying is not a sign of weakness. To be comfortable enough to show your emotions is a strength that should not be taken for granted. It’s a superpower!

 

Thoughts on Bullying and My Bullying Experience

You are not the most important person in the world!

I strongly believe that everyone is unique in their own way and can never be replaced. You are important to the ones that loves you!

Now that I’ve gotten that out the way I’m going to have a late night rant about rude people.

I was waiting in line at a café today when a customer came up to the desk where a lovely girl with a big smile welcomed him as a returning costumer. He asked about a certain beverage and she apologised and told him that they still hadn’t gotten it in. It was a juice box of some sorts. This man then flew into a rage about how this should have been fixed a long time ago, that this was the worst customer service he’d ever gotten and that he was getting really angry (thank you, captain obvious!). The girl behind the desk apologised yet again (in the most professional way) and this man didn’t even take the time to hear her words. He stormed (or rather stomped) off in rage. This brought me back to when I worked as a barista some years ago (and to any other job I’ve had. They all revolve around customer service) and I remember specific episodes where I was yelled at, called stupid and where I felt scared. All of these customers were the kind that got angry because something didn’t turn out exactly like they pictured it.

If you’ve ever had a similar job, you know the type. Let’s just call them “The Impossible Customer”. The ones that are never happy. They never get what they want, when they want it. They find any kind of stupid little detail (of no importance at all) that they can complain about. And they lash out at you if there’s something they don’t understand themselves.

The Impossible Customer will say the most ridiculous thing to break you down so that they seem superior and smarter. I’ve heard them tell me thing’s that were just plain wrong, tell out right lies and even called me the most awful names.

As someone who values good customer service, it is important for me to provide it as well. But there’s something that needs to be said. You shouldn’t have to take undeserving crap from The Impossible Customer.

They can be unhappy as much as they like, but that doesn’t justify bullying. Yes, bullying. Because there aren’t just teens and kids that are bullies, some grownups are just as bad and even worse. And it is unacceptable!!

If you see someone being bullied by a customer, speak up! If you aren’t able to do so, give the bullied person some supportive words when it’s your turn to speak to him or her.

The Impossible Customer might be rich and all that, but they are also the ones who will spread venom around them. They will intoxicate the environment they’re in unless they change their attitude.

There will always be Impossible Customers out there. Their problems are within themselves so don’t be discouraged by their hateful words and negative criticism. Do your job as good as you can and constantly aspire to be even better. And if that isn’t good enough for The Impossible Customer, then you’ve done all that you could have.

Have pride in your work and don’t let The Impossible Customer get you down! Take a deep breath, close your eyes and remember those happy and grateful customers. The ones that always comes back to you because they want to! Those are The Important Customers. Those are the ones that counts!

The Impossible Customer might believe that they’re the most important person in the world, but we all know that it’s not even close to the truth. And maybe that’s why they’re so angry, because they know it too.

 

 

 

 

My Pale Skin – You Look Disgusting

When I first saw this video it made me want to cry! The second time I got angry! And as I’m sharing it would you guys I’m both with a sprinkle of motivation and inspiration on top! We need to change the way we talk to each other and don’t even get me started on internet trolls! I’ll save that for a later post.

Watch this and go forth as a great example when you travel through the world wide web.

SPREAD LOVE, NOT HATE!

 

Remember this before you bully!

With a ten year school reunion coming up I’ve started to reflect a bit more about my time in school. From age 12 till about 15 I was bullied quite a lot in school. It was mostly the girls, and that’s how it usually is isn’t it? Girls can be so cruel and especially at that age.

The truth is that if you really think about it you have probably made fun of someone a few times in your life but maybe not to their face.
But before people really do bully there’s a few things they should think about.

Why would you pick on them?

For some odd reason what is different scares the living crap out of some of us. So do you bully because you don’t understand? Or do you bully because no one really understands you?
When you point your finger at someone there are three fingers pointing back at you. Bullying often comes from bad self esteem. They can seem like the most confident people in the world but if they were truly confident with themselves, would they really feel the need to pick on others?
Stop being so afraid of what’s different and try to get to know and understand them instead.

Do you really know them?

What do the ones that bully really know about the ones they are bullying?
The upbringing they’ve had. The people they know or the people they’ve lost. The abuse or neglect. The sad and the hurt. Their dreams and their hopes. Their talents and their interests.
If the bullies took the time to know who they were bullying they might have found out that they weren’t so different after all.

We forgive but we never forget.

To really be bullied is a traumatic experience. The ones it happens to always remember the feeling. Some break down because of it, others learn to grow from it.
The day the bully find out that being a bully wasn’t all that nice might be years too late to get back the most faithful friend they never had.

Can you live with the consequences?

We’ve all read the stories of bullied victims that just don’t see a way out of the mess and the hurt. How someone will react to being bullied is something noone can ever predict and what if it comes down to the worst outcome imaginable.  Could you live with knowing that parts of it was your fault? 

I don’t think the world will ever be free of bullies. That might sound like a horrible thing to write but I just don’t see a realistic plan to get rid of it. I do however think that bullying should have a lot tougher consequences.  The ones who see what’s happening to people that has a hard time with really standing up to the cruelty they are facing need to lend a helping hand. 
Thr bullies might seem strong but the truth is that there are more of us who are against it than the few that really bully.

So know this, I will stand by and watch what happens. I will tell them the words that will hurt more than any bully can throw back.
I will tell them the truth.

Watch out bullies. I’m coming for you!