Tag: Christmas spirit

Where Are You Christmas?

Christmas is the most magical time of the year, or so I used to think.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a crazy amount of Christmas spirit. Starting to watch Christmas movies and listen to Christmas music in October, unable to wait for December to arrive to decorate my apartment, having the most fun wrapping gifts and effortlessly spreading as much Christmas joy as I could.

Something changed. I’m not sure exactly when, but this is the third year that the Christmas spirit I used to feel so strongly has been completed absent. No warm fuzzy feeling, no extra joy over all the things I used to love about this time of year, but instead I have an urgent wish to get away. All I’ve wanted for the past two holidays has been to cancel Christmas and leave. To go to some beach and just sit with my feet in the sand with a drink in my hand.

So, where did all that Christmas spirit go? Have I lost it completely? Or did I just come to realize how commercial and shallow this holiday really is?

I’m still trying to watch Christmas movies, listen to the music, hoping that it comes alive again, but I’m not sure what I’m doing for Christmas this year.

I don’t have the budget for a tropical holiday, and I’m not sure if I even want to celebrate this year. One part of me is tempted to stay at home, lock the door and just have a cozy lonely night. Another part of me wants to spend time with the family.

We’re already in November and I don’t know what I’m going to do. I really don’t know…

I think I’m broken…

If you asked anyone in my closest group of friends to point out which one of us that has the most “Christmas Spirit”, I’m pretty sure all fingers would point in my direction. I’m the kind of person that usually starts to listen to Christmas music and watch Christmas movies in October. The Christmas tree and most of the decorations are already in place in good time before December has even started. Walking through the Winter Wonderland they set up in central Oslo usually makes me all giddy and have me walking around with a big smile on my face. I love Christmas. Always have.

This year though, something is different. We just passed midnight here in Norway and it is now officially December 1st.

Have I watched a single Christmas movie?

Nope

Do I play my Christmas list on Spotify every day and sing along?

Nope

Is there a single piece of Christmas decoration up in my apartment? Come on! There must be!?

The answer is…

No….

I walked through Winter Wonderland a couple of days ago, waiting for that warm, fuzzy and giddy feeling to come over me, but it was nowhere to be found.

What I’m about to tell you is something that I don’t like to admit, but here it goes:

For the first time EVER, I’m not excited about Christmas.

Don’t get me wrong, I do look forward to spending time with my family. It’s all of the other stuff that I just can’t seem to get excited about this year. This is not a feeling that I like. I want to feel the joy of it. To have fun making meaningful presents and decorating my home. Maybe the reason why I miss it so much is the fact that it’s such a well known part of my personality. It’s a part of who I’ve always been.

I think my Christmas Spirit might be broken..

I’m not giving up just yet though. I’ve promised myself to take me out on a Christmas date soon. And when I’m done wining and dining myself, I will take me home and cuddle up on the couch with something hot in my cup and then I’m going to bring out the big guns.

We’re talking Home Alone, The Grinch that Stole Christmas, Elf and The Polar Express.

If that doesn’t do it, then I’m not sure what will!

Wish me luck 🙈

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