A New Start ✨

Let’s talk about the last year and a half. To say that it’s been a weird and challenging one would be an understatement.

The pandemic hit shortly after I found out that I was pregnant. By that time, I was already on sick leave from my job because I struggled with extreme nausea. I already felt slightly isolated at home, and then we really did become isolated. I felt very anxious about the fact that researchers had no idea how COVID-19 could affect pregnant women and their babies.
So we were extra careful, and we limited the people we met down to almost zero. In a time where I could’ve needed my friends and family more than usual, I suddenly couldn’t see and hug them like I was used to. It wasn’t the kind of pregnancy I had hoped for. I tried to focus on the beautiful miracle of the whole thing but found myself struggling with staying positive in the middle of it all. I was so scared all the time.
I was sick and lonely, but I was also very aware that I had it better than many other people in this world.

October came around, and little Noelle came into this world. Mikael could stay by my side through the whole ordeal (many other pregnant couples weren’t as lucky), and she was healthy and perfect. I wanted to share the joy with friends and family. We were lucky enough for the restrictions to have lifted a little bit by then so we could spend a little more time with family. That helped.

Christmas came, and it felt like I was on the right track to get back to my creative self, but then disaster struck. Our rescue dog became extremely jealous of the new addition to the family and tried to bite Noelle. After two episodes of obvious jealousy, it became clear that it wouldn’t work. It was so painful and sad. We had to say goodbye to a best friend, a member of the family. Luckily we had the option of him living with my ex and good friend, so we can still visit and see him. But not having him around was heartbreaking. When it came to creative projects, I had nothing to give.

2021 came around, and we found out that we had to move. The apartment we were renting had water coming up through the floorboards whenever it rained, and it would take quite some time to fix. We looked at new places in Oslo, but everything was so expensive, and we didn’t want to spend all of our income on rent.
The family reached out to us and gave us the option to live with my mom while we saved up some money and figured things out.
We were (and still are) very grateful for that!
It meant coming back to my hometown, closer to both of our families. And if there’s one thing that’s become painfully clear throughout this pandemic, it’s how much I craved being closer to my roots and my family.

We ended up living with my mom for three months. It was challenging for someone like me who needs their space and quiet time. And it was challenging for Mikael to live with someone else’s family for so long. I totally get that. We craved a space of our own and time to ourselves.
We now have that, and I will share more about that in a post soon!

But that’s not what I wanted to write about now. Instead, I wanted to share that the last six months have especially been really hard. I found myself in dark places of sadness and worry way too often, and I was slowly slipping into a bit of postpartum depression. More often than I wanted to admit, I found myself questioning all of my life decisions and beating myself up for not reaching all of my goals yet. There were a lot of tears, anger, and fights. I was not in a good place. We were not in a good place. The darkness was swallowing me, and the negative voices got so loud that I struggled to hear anything else.

But finally, after months of challenges and darkness, it feels like I’m slowly finding my way back to myself. It’s been hard, and I’m still working my way through a lot of stuff, but I’ve come to a place where I feel motivated to work creatively again.

I look forward to sharing more of what’s going on with you, lovelies! I’ve missed this!
So, I’ve gone back to the writing board, and I’m making plans for lots of content. There will be some changes, and there will be testing of new things, so bear with me while I figure this thing out. It feels like I’m starting from scratch once again, but I’m excited about this journey!

Any and all feedback is more than welcome and appreciated.💛 If there’s something you’d like to see more of, or you have any suggestions for future posts and themes, just let me know.

Take my hand, and let’s wander into the unknown.✨
And to all of you who’ve been patiently waiting for me, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart❤️

It means so much more than I am able to put into words!

Another Morning, Another Hostel!

Yes, I’m traveling again! This time, I went by bus over night from Oslo, over to Sweden, and then, at 7am this morning, I found myself in Copenhagen!

It’s been a little while since the last time I visited Copenhagen, and this time around I’m just here for two days. I basically came here for two things;

The Jason Mraz concert and to get a new tattoo!

And I’m very excited about both! I will also try to get quite a bit of writing done too. Arriving here so early gives me a good amount of hours to write and film some here in the city.

I love coming back to Copenhagen. Just like London and Amsterdam, it has such a wonderful atmosphere! First time I’ve traveled here by bus though, and I have mixed feelings about it.

I had reserved the front, single seat on the second floor, which gave me quite the view. The price was really good as well!

Now let me share some of the things I learned for future long distance bus rides:

☀️ Bring a pair of extra warm socks. You’ll want to take of your shoes, and your feet will get cold, which makes it hard to fall asleep, and just uncomfortable.

☀️ Wear a coat or bring a blanket. Again, it can get really cold!

☀️ Travel pillow!! I considered bringing mine, decided not to, and regretted that decision! I think my neck is bitter as hell because of it too.

☀️ You know those rude people that insist on talking extremely loud on their phone? Well, they will do the exact same thing, even when it’s in the middle of the night. Bring a headset, preferably those fancy ones with noise cancellation! The regular Apple headset worked to block out the worst for me.

☀️ Wear comfortable clothes! You’ll be sleeping, or just sitting, in a somewhat seated position for many hours. Make sure you’ll be as comfortable as possible. Those skinny jeans that feels like they’re hugging your calves, after a few hours of sitting in them, it will feel like they’re trying to squeeze the life out of you! Bring them wit you instead. I went for some flared, stretchy pants which made it possible to try to fold myself into in unnatural positions to try yo get comfortable 😜

So, now I’m having my morning coffee at the Hostel of this trip, and I feel ever so much wiser after 8 hours on a bus. Let’s see how much of my new wisdom will be put to use on my way home. I’m buying warm socks though, that’s for sure!

My dear lovelies, I wish you all a wonderful day! I’m about to finish my coffee and then head out into a city I know somewhat, to act like a proper tourist and get to know it even better!

If you want to follow me around in Copenhagen then add me on Instagram! I will be posting throughout the trip, as I always do😊 You can click on the picture above to get to my Instagram👆🏻

Was it Fruitful?

So I went to London, I ate plenty of good food, drank the whisky and met some wonderful people too.

But Christina, you went to London to write! I didn’t see a lot of Insta stories of you doing that, so how fruitful was the trip really?

It was even more fruitful and creative than I imagined it would be! And the thing is, when I get into the mood of writing, that’s pretty much all I focus on, so that’s why I don’t show that much of it. And I can imagine that me posting a lot of pictures and videos of just me in a bar with my computer would be very repetitive and not really all that interesting to watch in the long run.

But I got down over 10 000 words on my novel! 10 000 words in 5 days!

There’s something magical with the relationship between me and London. My creativity blossoms as soon as I get a little bit of that London feeling.

A nice walk by the Thames, a coconut latte from Pret and then I’m all set. The words just pour out of me, and it feels so good!

And the best part of it all, is that the words have kept coming since I got home. It feels like I took a little bit of that London magic with me home this time around, and I’m so grateful for it!

I will be sharing more about my trip in the next couple of days! Have some wonderful restaurants to recommend to you guys, and maybe also a few personal stories to tell!

But now, I have to get back to my novel!

Hope you are all doing well❤️

Oh, and let me know; Do you have any places you go where you just get instantly more creative, or is that just me? And if you do, where is it?

What the Hell are You Doing?

‘Can I get a double Laphroaig on the rocks please?’

It started there. The bartender looked at me questingly. I’m used to that by now. I guess I just don’t look like the girl who would order a smoky whisky. Apparently he wasn’t that used to selling any kind of whisky apart from Jack or Jameson, because he slowly turned around and his eyes searched the rows and rows of bottles.

‘It’s the green bottle next to the Jameson on your right.’ He smiled, and asked me if it was any good, and we ended up having a brief conversation about whisky and then he went on to serving the bar that was starting to fill up.

I found a small table close to the dance floor. Not because I had a need to be close to all the dancing bodies (Although that is pretty entertaining in itself), but it was one of the smaller ones available.

My whisky and I sat down and was accompanied by my Mac, and then I started punching those keys. I lip synced to the music the DJ was playing, wrote words and words, and enjoyed every sip of my smoky whisky. It didn’t take long before people started looking, and very obviously wondering what the hell I was doing.

There I was, freak of nature, in the middle of a buzzing bar/club, but I was sitting by myself, not trying to make contact, I was writing, and to top it all off, I sat there with a whisky instead of a beer or a drink. There was a mixture of curiosity, confusion and dislike. How dare I behave in such an unnatural manner?

And when one guy (drunk would be an understatement) came over to me and actually asked me;

‘What the hell are you doing sitting here all by yourself? You should be out there dancing!’ You can add the drunken slurring, cause I’m not even going to try to write it in.

I laughed out loud, and told him that I was too busy at the moment making my dreams come true. He gave me a confused and angry look, walked on, and I kept on laughing while I punched the keys. So if people didn’t think me crazy already, they sure as hell probably did now.

But I’ll let you in on a secret; I couldn’t care less!

Let them look! Let them ask questions! Let them wonder, or make up stories, or dislike me for no other reason than doing things differently! Because the truth is that they know nothing about my dreams, and how important they are to me. They know nothing of my passion, and how creating makes me feel alive! And they certainly haven’t tasted a really good smoky whisky😜

But if you ask me nicely, I’ll tell you all about it! I’ll even let you have a sip😉

We are so quick to judge other people as soon as they do things differently, but how about we stop making harsh judgements and ask nice questions instead? Let’s learn from each other instead of making assumptions. Because we’re all just trying to figure stuff out our own way, and that’s the beauty of it❤️

Take inspiration from the ones who dare to be different. Those who dare to try, dare to dream and dare to not care about what everyone else thinks!

Dating destroyed my creativity…

An Off Day

We all have them. I don’t get them that often, but today is one of them.

I consider myself quite the happy, grateful and positive person, but sometimes the negativity of the world will overwhelm me to the point where I just have to take a break.

I’ve found through the years that being a positive person in a negative world (at times) can be very draining and challenging. I wouldn’t want to be any other way, because life is too short to not try to make the best out of it, to not try our best to have a positive outlook on our future, to not work for a brighter and better future. Even so, being a positive and creative soul is hard at times. Being a romantic is even harder. And brushing off all the negativity that people carelessly throw around can feel impossible. So some days I find myself so completely numb and overwhelmed. My thoughts and ideas are working overdrive. My energy just falls apart and I can’t seem to create anything, even though I have a head full of ideas and plans.

This doesn’t happen too often, and I tend to isolate myself a bit whenever it does. Why? Maybe because I feel like it’s not really a good representation of the person that I am most of the time. Then again, this is a part of me, and I shouldn’t be holding that back.

How do I get out of it? Well, over the years I’ve found what works for me. When I feel the off day is getting a hold of me, I usually take a break. I lock the door, turn off the lights, pour myself a couple of glasses of Laphroaig or tea (depending on what I feel like having), I write, I listen to music, I cry, and I get a good nights sleep. Usually, that’s the reboot that I need, and the next morning, everything just feels a little bit better and back to normal.

So to all of you that are having an off day today, I just want you to know that you’re not alone. It happens to all of us, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Take the time that you need to get back on track. It’s totally okay to not be okay all of the time ❤️

 

Why I Don’t Have a TV!

Whenever I tell people that I don’t have a TV, I generally get one of two reactions.

1 ● Me neither!

2 ● You don’t have a TV???? But what do you do instead? (All said with disbelief and a shocked expression)

☼

Here are some of the reasons why I don’t have a TV:

Having a TV is extremely distracting and it ruins my creativity!

When I get into the zone of my creativity, I don’t get easily distracted, but it’s that time before I sit down to work that’s crucial. Those are the moments where I could easily get distracted and end up sitting in front of a screen and watch reruns of Cold Case until I fall asleep on the couch and absolutely no work has been done.

I love books more! 

Don’t get me wrong, I will devour a good movie or a show from time to time, but that’s when I choose to do it. I don’t want to zap between fiction and then MAYBE stumble upon something interesting. I want to be in control of the entertainment that I consume, and I just happen to like books more!

I have my Mac!

If I ever feel like binge-watching all the episodes of Rick & Morty, see a documentary or discover a new movie, then I have my laptop and I have Netflix and YouTube. That’s pretty much all I need whenever the urge to watch something comes over me.

I like to go on movie dates!

My way of discovering new movies is usually to take myself out on a spontaneous movie date! If I’ve been out writing most of the day and I feel like treating myself to something special, I will go online, book a ticket to some random movie and go watch it. I love those movie dates, and I’ve fallen in love with several movies because of them. And I’ve ended up reading the books that the movies have been based on and loved them even more!

My time is extremely valuable!

This is the most important one, so let me repeat myself:

MY TIME IS EXTREMELY VALUABLE!

And so is yours!

Today I watched one of Casey Neistat’s latest vlogs and he read a piece that Ryan Holiday wrote and it really hit home with me:

“Time is our most irreplaceable asset—we cannot buy more of it. We cannot get a second of it back. We can only hope to waste as little as possible. Yet somehow we treat it as most renewable of all resources.”

You can read Ryan Holiday’s full post here!

Or you can watch  Casey Neistat reading it here:

This is something that I find to be so true! I devote an extreme amount of time to doing the things that I love, to create and to build the life that I want to have. I don’t have time to waste, and not having a TV at home helps me to not be tempted to just slouch on my couch while the hours go by. I don’t even want to think about the amount of time that I wasted in front of it back in the days. Hours and hours that I will never get back. Hours and hours where I could’ve been creating.

☼

So those are some of the reasons why I’ve chosen to not have a TV at home. 

Let me know if you have one at home!? And if you do, do you find yourself spending more time in front of it than you like? 

 

 

 

Dare to Share

Photo: Thomas Amdahl

I’ve been pretty open about my life, opinions, and feelings here on this blog and through my videos on YouTube over the last few years, and it’s something that I’m very comfortable with and proud of.

It takes a bit of courage to bare yourself and be honest, and in the beginning, it was definitely a step out of the comfort zone for sure. I still have moments in front of the camera or when writing out a post where I ask myself if I’m fine with sharing it with the world. Most of the time, the answer is yes. This is my little corner of the internet, and I want it to be real and honest. I want it to be as much me as it can possibly be. 

Sometimes though, the answer is no. I might film or write something in the heat of an emotion and then leave it to rest for a little while and pick it up and reread or rewatch it, then decide that it’s not right. Getting a bit of distance from certain projects is sometimes needed for them to reach their potential.

It also takes a good dose of zero fucks given at times 😜

But I wanted to take a moment and share my gratitude for other creators that choose to bare themselves as real and honest people. There are so many wonderful and creative people out there that dare to show the good, the bad and the ugly, instead of some unrealistic picture perfect life. I think we as creators have a certain responsibility to be real with our viewers/readers. Not that everyone needs to be as open and share as much as I do for instance, but to at least be honest and real in whatever part they choose to share.

It’s one thing to be creative about what you share, and make it look interesting. That’s the charm and wonder of being any kind of artist. You get to play with it, make it your own, have fun and do something different. 

I am so grateful for all of the artists that have inspired me to dare to share as my own kind of artist. Thank you ❤️

And I am also so grateful for all of the support and love that I’ve gotten as a writer/YouTuber so far. Thank you ❤️

And here is my promise to you, and to myself:

I promise to try my hardest to always be honest and real. I will be as open as I can possibly be. I will continue on with my journey of growth and self-love, and it’s something that I’m extremely passionate about. Not everything I share will be on a positive and light note because life isn’t like that all of the time. You might not always agree with me, and you might even not like what I post, and that’s totally fine. You are entitled to your opinions as much as I am. However, I am a big believer in spreading love instead of hate, and I will work hard to keep this little corner a place of love, gratitude, and respect. 

I might falter and fail at times. I will make mistakes, and when I do I promise to be mindful of them, to learn from them and to apologize. 

It gives me much joy and meaning in life to be able to share with all of you and experiencing that the content that I make has an impact on other people. That is why I love being creative, honest and real💛 That is why I do what I do.

Thank you to those of you who’ve been a part of this journey so far! You inspire me and you move me on a daily basis! And for those of you who are new; WELCOME! Thank you for taking some of your precious time to be here with me and my creativity!

I love you guys so much and you mean the world to me! I never in a million years could have predicted where my creativity would lead me, and I’m still in awe all of the time of how lucky I am, to have the freedom to do this!

This is such an interesting and wonderful journey. Sometimes it’s full-on bliss, and other times, it’s painful. But it’s all an important part of the journey and the personal growth. And you know the best part??

This is only the beginning 😉

Again, thank you for being here in the past, now and in the future!

I love you guys❤️

I’m a LIVE Ambassador!

In my post The Story of My New Tattoo I briefly mentioned the Live A Great Story Community and that I’d become a LIVE Ambassador. If you want the story of my tattoo and how I came to know the Live A Great Story community then I would recommend you read that post first and then head on back here 😊

I’ve always believed that all things happen for a reason, and I find it to be so amazing that what started out as just a sentence that popped into my head, turned into my wall decor and then a tattoo, was something that lead me to this community of so many creative and wonderful people all around the world! I don’t think this was a coincidence! Some things are just meant to be, and I believe that I was meant to end up on this path and to find this amazingly inspiring journey.

So, what does it mean to be a LIVE Ambassador? 

Being a LIVE Ambassador means that you are part of a community of awesome creative and hardworking people! It means that you are focused on living a great story, and you want to inspire others to do the same! Weekly challenges! And a whole lot of love!

I’m super excited about the next three months of the Season 3 Ambassador Program that I’m a part of, and I can’t wait to share it with you guys!

If you’re interested in reading more about the Live A Great Story community, you can do so HERE ✌🏻

And if you think that being a LIVE Ambassador might be something for you, then I’m happy to tell you that Season 4 Applications are open now! You can find out more and apply here!Lots more to come! Talk to you soon Lovelies! 

Went Back to Refuel!

The past weekend I went back to my hometown to visit my family, and to celebrate my birthday. As soon as we got on the bus, I could feel myself relax a bit more and being able to let go of a lot of the tension I’ve been struggling with the last couple of weeks.

And when I got the first hug when we arrived, I realised just how much I needed to get out of Oslo and back home to refuel. I’ve been thinking that I needed to go away to somewhere new to get some new impulses and inspiration, and although I still feel the need for that as well, going home made a big difference.

Just to be surrounded by family and their love was very much needed. And I could feel the motivation to get back to creating slowly coming back to me. I’ve been writing a lot, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get back in front of the camera for a video. Finally, that changed!

Follow me on Instagram: featherpen87 ☺️

My mom and stepdad got me a Canon EOS 200D, the very camera that I’ve been saving up to eventually buy. I was all shaky hands and teary eyes when I opened it up, and it took a while for me to actually believe that it was real. But there it was! The one I’ve been wanting, and then the rush of creative lust came over me.

Sometimes it’s really hard to get back on track with creating when I’ve been gone for a little a while, and it’s been especially hard this time around. Because of that, the relief I felt when the want to create came back, it was borderline overwhelming.

And now I’m excited, and a little nervous. The YouTube break has come to an end. Tomorrow I will sit my ass down in front of my new glorious camera, and I will once again do more of what I love to do!

I am so grateful for the presents, for the love and for the conversations this past weekend. It gave me more than I ever could have imagined. And I had no idea just how much I needed it.