What the Hell are You Doing?

‘Can I get a double Laphroaig on the rocks please?’

It started there. The bartender looked at me questingly. I’m used to that by now. I guess I just don’t look like the girl who would order a smoky whisky. Apparently he wasn’t that used to selling any kind of whisky apart from Jack or Jameson, because he slowly turned around and his eyes searched the rows and rows of bottles.

‘It’s the green bottle next to the Jameson on your right.’ He smiled, and asked me if it was any good, and we ended up having a brief conversation about whisky and then he went on to serving the bar that was starting to fill up.

I found a small table close to the dance floor. Not because I had a need to be close to all the dancing bodies (Although that is pretty entertaining in itself), but it was one of the smaller ones available.

My whisky and I sat down and was accompanied by my Mac, and then I started punching those keys. I lip synced to the music the DJ was playing, wrote words and words, and enjoyed every sip of my smoky whisky. It didn’t take long before people started looking, and very obviously wondering what the hell I was doing.

There I was, freak of nature, in the middle of a buzzing bar/club, but I was sitting by myself, not trying to make contact, I was writing, and to top it all off, I sat there with a whisky instead of a beer or a drink. There was a mixture of curiosity, confusion and dislike. How dare I behave in such an unnatural manner?

And when one guy (drunk would be an understatement) came over to me and actually asked me;

‘What the hell are you doing sitting here all by yourself? You should be out there dancing!’ You can add the drunken slurring, cause I’m not even going to try to write it in.

I laughed out loud, and told him that I was too busy at the moment making my dreams come true. He gave me a confused and angry look, walked on, and I kept on laughing while I punched the keys. So if people didn’t think me crazy already, they sure as hell probably did now.

But I’ll let you in on a secret; I couldn’t care less!

Let them look! Let them ask questions! Let them wonder, or make up stories, or dislike me for no other reason than doing things differently! Because the truth is that they know nothing about my dreams, and how important they are to me. They know nothing of my passion, and how creating makes me feel alive! And they certainly haven’t tasted a really good smoky whisky😜

But if you ask me nicely, I’ll tell you all about it! I’ll even let you have a sip😉

We are so quick to judge other people as soon as they do things differently, but how about we stop making harsh judgements and ask nice questions instead? Let’s learn from each other instead of making assumptions. Because we’re all just trying to figure stuff out our own way, and that’s the beauty of it❤️

Take inspiration from the ones who dare to be different. Those who dare to try, dare to dream and dare to not care about what everyone else thinks!

This One is Important!

“What do you think the meaning of life is?”

Have you ever gotten that question? Ever sat down with a glass of wine and pondered over it? Has it ever kept you up at night? Made you stressed and insecure about your whole existence?

If the answer is no, then good for you! Kudos, high five and a happy dance from me to you!

If the answer is yes, then I know how you feel! I used to be there. I used to stress and worry. At times I had trouble sleeping because of all the big questions that were just too massive for my brain to process.

And yes, you read that right, I said I used to.

Do I worry about things? Oh yes, from time to time. I don’t think I’d be much of a human if I didn’t.

Do I worry about the meaning of life though? Absolutely not!

A couple of years ago, and I can’t for the life of me remember who asked me, but someone did ask me about what I thought was the meaning of life. Whenever I got that question I would usually just shrug and tell the person that I had no idea. For some reason though, I wasn’t able to shrug it off that time around. It stuck with me for days, and then suddenly, when I was out for a walk, these words came to me:

The important thing is not to find the meaning of life, but to find what it is that gives your life meaning. 

It came to me then and has never left me since. And with those words came a profound sense of relief. A way of thinking that I had no idea that I actually needed, but has helped me so much in finding my way to the life that I live today.

So many of us just settle for everyone else’s ideas of what our lives should be, and don’t even consider the idea of our dreams becoming a reality.

What gives your life meaning? Have you asked yourself that lately? If you haven’t, then I think it’s time you should! Sit down and have a quiet moment with yourself, ask the question, and really think about it. And if the things that give your life meaning aren’t something you’re doing on a regular basis, then I would highly suggest that you consider adding some changes to your life!

Why on earth would you waste the precious little time that you have on things that don’t matter? Do you value your time that little? And no, I’m not saying you should drop everything, quit your day job and hope for the best, unless you really want to and dare to. I wish I could. I wish I could afford to take that leap, but I can’t. Instead, I’ve made a very conscious choice when it comes to how I live my life. I constantly ask myself if the things that I’m spending the most amount of time on are the ones that give my life meaning. If the answer is no, then I look for ways to minimize those tasks. If the answer is yes, then I look for ways to be able to do more of them.

Even if it’s just adding a few minutes more of doing that which gives you meaning every day, that’s a way of starting to move in the right direction! We all have to start somewhere, right?

The important thing is not to find the meaning of life, but to find what it is that gives your life meaning! 

Make that list (either an actual one or a mental one) and then remind yourself of your answers every day. And if something on it doesn’t give your life meaning anymore, then remove it! It’s your list, so who the hell is gonna tell you not to?

It’s your life, and it’s so precious and unpredictable. So with that in mind, can I just ask one thing of you? This one is important:

Please, don’t waste it ❤️

My Dream Day

As a Live a Great Story Ambassador, we get weekly challenges, and the challenge for this week was all about visualising your dreams. Writing them down with as much detail as you can, and to manifest it! Because when it comes to working against your goals and dreams, it’s so important to have a clear view of what it is that you want. Law of attraction is no joke guys 😉

So I thought I would share my dream day with you!

My dream day would start pretty early. I don’t really see myself waking up any place in particular, but it would be a place with an interesting view. Because when I get to where I want to be, anywhere in the world will be a potential office for the day.

I would get up and do some morning yoga, preferably outside with the sun on my skin.

Then I would meditate for a little while before it is time for a good and healthy vegan breakfast. After that I would make myself a cup of coffee and I would write down the things I’m grateful for, to start the day on the most positive note possible. 

After that it would be time to work. I would bring my mac or a notebook to a nearby coffee shop and sit down for a few hours. There I would write away on my current project while enjoying good coffee, surrounded by wonderful strangers, and maybe some that were no longer strangers. I would get inspiration from the vibe around me, and I would put it into my written words. 

After writing for a while, I would put away my mac/notebook, find my camera and start filming. Either from my “home office” or out and about, depending on the project I had in mind. This particular day that I have in mind, I’m somewhere new, and I would be walking around the city, exploring with my camera. I would capture all of the wonderful places and faces I would meet on my new adventure. Throughout the day I would taste interesting food, and talk to interesting people. Taking in the city and all it has to offer. Later, when I’ve uploaded all my footage and changed for the evening, I would go for a drink and have a look at what the city would be like at night. 

And depending on what that evening would bring, I would either end up having a social night or to go back to my current home and end the day with some writing or editing. 

And then I would crawl under the covers with a big smile on my face, already looking forward to the next day and all its new adventures!

So there you have it! My dream day would consist of writing, filming and traveling. I plan on doing a lot more of all three in the time that’s to come, and maybe my dream day isn’t as far away as I thought when this year started 💛

What would your dream day be like?

The Big Escape ● POEM

This is waking up

Eyes opening

Fingers reaching

Finally feeling

This is realizing

Lies exposed

Truth coming clear

Impossible to unsee

This is escaping

Wings spreading

Soul soaring

Breaking free

©Christina de Vries

You Are What You Love, Not Who Loves You!

Back in the day, when I was a kid, I had so many plans for my future. I had plans to be exactly where I wanted to be by the time I was 25, and I would not even think about starting a family before that had happened. Needless to say, things didn’t really go as planned. I’m pretty sure that’s the truth for most of us when we look back on our lives.

I am now 30. I have a 10 year old son. I’m a dedicated YouTuber. I’m working on a poetry collection. The first draft of my first novel is almost done. I’m working in retail and I’m dying to travel more, see more, live more!

This wasn’t how I pictured my life would be at all. Some days that thought happens to get me a bit worried, but most days I enjoy life for what it has offered me so far. How I’ve come to be the person that I am today. And even though I haven’t reached all of the goals I set for my self as a little girl, I’ve already accomplished a lot.

I love the fact that my wanderlust just grows and grows. A lot of the things I thought would be important to me when I was younger, I’ve come to learn aren’t important at all. And some of the things that I never thought I’d care for, has become solid foundations in my life.

But there is one thing that has never changed, and I can say with damn certainty it never will, that is my passion for writing. I found it when I was so young that I can’t even remember it. I’ve been chasing it, and living it ever since. Writing and writing and writing! And I’m just as much a writer as everyone else who loves to write.

Fall Out Boy together with Elton John has a wonderful song (one of my absolute favorites) and in that song there’s a line that always gives me goosebumps:

"You are what you love, not who loves you!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cnBxSB1jUE

I love that line! And I find it to be so true that it sometimes hurt just thinking about it. We let ourselves be defined so easily by other people’s idea of who we ought to be. I know way to many who have given up their dreams for more sensible and safe options, and they almost always feel like there’s something missing. But HEY, that’s what growing up is all about, right? To that I say HELL NO!

I know my passion, my dreams! It has evolved over the years, for sure. Making videos for a passion in addition to writing just grew organically, and now they go hand in hand. Every single day I practice gratitude. And one of the things that I’m just as grateful for, every single day, is the fact that I still have that spirit of the dreaming child that was me so many years ago!

I look at my son now and I hope that he never loses it either. I see the sparkle in his eyes when he dances, or when he creates something, and I always promise myself that I will go down, kicking and screaming, for his right to have his dreams, to chase them, and to live them!

I will try my very best to teach him to LIVE A GREAT STORY, just as I am teaching and reminding myself to do the same, every single day!

YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE, NOT WHO LOVES YOU!

Don’t ever forget that! And I will be here to remind you of it, for as long as I can!

FIND IT! CHASE IT! LIVE IT!

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Dare to be great!

I hit that send button with a lot of thoughts going through my mind.

Maybe I should have written it differently. Maybe I bragged too much. Or what if I bragged too little?

I would be perfect for this! 

I wouldn’t have a clue..

Maybe it was a mistake…

By the time the word “mistake” crossed my mind, I wanted to slap myself.

All the pep talks, the inspirational quotes hanging over my desk, every written word through the year and of course my big life long dream of becoming a writer, and now I just told myself that I wasn’t worth it?

That the opportunity shouldn’t be taken? That I shouldn’t dare to be great?

Obstacles are what you see 

when you lose track of your goals.

I never completely lost sight of my goals, but I hid them away. I filled my time with other things, having a piece of my heart watching over my big dream while I tried out the world and looked for ideas, but only found excuses. Too many excuses.

I wasn’t getting any closer to my goals, because I stopped trying to reach for them.

Upon realizing that the fog of confusion and self doubt was what was keeping my dreams away from me, I sat myself down and gave myself the peppiest of all pep talks.

Why shouldn’t I give it my all? Why shouldn’t I take some leaps of faith? 

Why shouldn’t I dare to be great? 

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No one is perfect and no one can ever become perfect, but no one should try to be anything but true to them selves.

I’m a creative person. I’ve known that all my life. But growing up I knew that I wasn’t going to become painter even though I enjoy being creative with a pencil. I wasn’t going to become a singer, even though I often do a heck of a one woman show in the shower. I’m not going to become a poetry reciting astronaut even though I let my thoughts wander into space.

But do you know what? I’m already a writer! I’ve always been a writer. A writer in progress. A writer by heart.

My not-yet-finished novel isn’t in bookshelves around the world, and I haven’t made a decent salary from writing yet, but that doesn’t make me any less of a writer as long as I keep on working, and write from the depths of my heart and the dark places in my soul.

Suddenly my goals were as clear as they have never been. And right then I decided it was time.

I was going to a leap.

No!

I was going to take many!

And now I’m proud of myself for daring to send that email. That application for what might be the perfect job for my writing heart.

I might not get it because of lack of experience in the field. But should I be so lucky to get the opportunity then I would dare to be the greatest at it.

If you find a job that you love

You won’t have to work another day in your life.

Just give me time.. I’ll get there 🙂

And so should you!

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