Sometimes Friendships End In Breakups

Friendship is a funny thing. Some last for years and years, while others for only a shorter period of time. Sometimes those who start out as acquaintances turn into friends, but other times it goes the other way around. Friends are so important to us all, but we also live out our own separate lives outside of the friendships that we have, and the time we spend with our friends will vary depending on how much time and energy we have on our hand.

Sometimes we will spend more time with certain friends than with our own family. Sometimes our friends become our family. Other times we are so wrapped up in work, kids, projects and such that we don’t get to see our friends nearly as much as we’d like to. There are even times when we don’t have what it takes to see them. When the state of our mental health is at a place where social interaction with even the people that we love the most feel like a struggle. And all of this is completely okay. It might be hard to deal with as the friend on the other side at times, just as much as the friend who’s struggling.

One thing that I find to be really hard is when I can’t really tell if a friend wants to stay a friend, or they want to move on. Just as romantic relationships sometimes come to an end, so do friendships at times.

But telling the difference between having a friend that’s just super busy, and a friend that maybe wants to move on without you, it can be hard. Maybe it’s mostly hard because it’s hard to let go. Especially when there’s a friendship that’s taken years to build. It’s hard to come to terms with all of that just going up into smoke.

Even so, there are times when the only right thing is to do exactly that; to let go.

It doesn’t mean that you would never let that friend back in, but when you’ve tried and tried again to keep the connection alive, there comes a time when you have to say;

“Look, I love you, but it feels like you’re not that interested in staying in touch at the moment and I don’t want to have to feel like I’m the only one trying. So now the ball is in your court. I will be here if you ever feel like doing something, but you’ll have to let me know if and when you want to.”

It might feel like a breakup. It might even be a breakup. But your life is short, and your time and energy is so, so valuable! Make sure you do not waste it. Set boundaries, and be honest while still being kind, not only to others, but to yourself as well❤️

The Ones I Love❤️

As a person that does not have a significant other/partner in crime/boyfriend (whatever you like to call it) to tell the whole world how much I love and adore, I won’t let that stop me! I want to spread some love and appreciation for all the other amazing ones that are in my life!

So here it goes!

To my partners in crime! 

What do you know?! I have several of you guys in my life. All of you who challenge me, and convince me to go on adventures I might’ve not ventured out on otherwise. those of you who make it sound like a good idea with one more dance and three more shots. Those who collect the funny stories. Those who will laugh with me, climb the fences, jump into the pools, and switch clothes with me at some point during the night for no logical reason.

You guys are the unicorns of my life and I love you for all the magic, glitter and color you add to it 💜

To my heroes!

You are the ones I call whenever I need to share, to cry, to talk or to just be distracted. You are the ones who know me inside and out. The good, the bad, and the ugly, and still you pick up when I call and want to spend time together. You are the ones with hearts of pure gold, minds of rainbows and blooming flowers, wisdom like Gandalf, bravery like Hermione, and enough stories to write book after book.

You are my soulmates and my heroes!

To my closest, the Supermen and Wonder Women in my life;

I love you and I’m so grateful for all the love you give me❤️

To the shining stars!

You are the ones who inspire. The people I look up to, admire and get motivated by. You are the guiding lights, the self-help books, the DIYs, the tricks, the hacks, and the wonders of my life. Paying attention to what you guys do and create, inspires me to be a better creator and a better person.

My life would be so much more boring without you, and my dreams wouldn’t have been nearly as big!

I love you and all your awesomeness💛

To those who don’t have a choice!

Well, that’s not entirely true. You guys have your own opinions and can choose not to spend time with me, but you don’t. Our blood and our family ties us together. We’re connected in a very special way, and we are a part of each others lives like few others can be.

You’re all batshit crazy, but so am I, and I guess that’s probably why we get along so well.

I love you and I’m so grateful to be a part of a family where weird runs in the blood💙

 

And last, but not least: 

To the four-legged!

You give the purest kind of love. There’s so much joy in the way that you guys greet me when it’s been 5 minutes or several days since the last time we met. Your kisses can get a bit intense at times, but I know they come from a place of love and caring. Personal space is something you guys don’t really get, but that’s okay. I’ll tell you when you’re being too pushy, and sometimes you will listen.

I love you for being the ones that comfort and makes me smile without even having to try 🧡

 

To My Best Friend!

I know that the topic of my friends is one that keeps reappearing here on this blog. The thing is that no matter how many times I write about it or talk about, I still end up in awe whenever I think about how lucky I am to have the wonderful friends that I do in my life. So in my place of utter gratitude, I refuse to apologize for this recurring subject. I think it’s one that’s so important, and definitely worth every single post of love❤️

I’ve written about the wonderful women in my life, about how I see my girlfriends as my soulmates, and about the love that I feel in all of my friendships. I am so freaking lucky to be able to write about these things that makes me into a big ball of warm fluff! There’s just so much love!

Yesterday we had a girl’s night (Kirsti, Kaya, Helene and me) and it was so nice to be all of us together for the first time in what seems like forever!

After many hours of conversations, wonderful food, drinks, and games, we finally crawled to bed at around 3 am with smiles on our faces. Kirsti and I shared a bed, and we ended up just lying there, talking for a little while after the lights were turned off. Eventually, Kirsti drifted off to sleep, but I lay awake for a little while, reminded of how we’ve been doing this for over 20 years now. All the sleepovers, the parties, the problems, the celebrations, the breakups, the dancing, the crying, the laughing, the hours and hours of conversations, and all of the love. It’s not the first time that thinking about this has blown me away, but it still hits me just hard every time.

I feel so grateful and lucky for all of my friends, but there’s something so utterly unique and special about our friendship.

Kirsti, you are my rock and I love you to the moon and back!

Noone can ever replace you, and no friendship will ever be just like ours❤️

I Am Surrounded by Superwomen!

8th of March. International Women’s Day! And after a day of attention around my gender, I have reflected a bit on how much I am surrounded by everyday Superwomen and Goddesses. 

There are so many wonderful women in my life, and I don’t believe that they get nearly as much credit as they deserve. 

These are just some of them:

Mothers who shape the lives of their kids every day, but still knows how to shake it on the dancefloor on girl’s night out.

Best friends who will make me laugh till I’m positively sure that I’m going to piss my pants, but will also tell me the honest truth, even if it hurts.

Family members that I don’t see as often as I’d like, but somehow always feel like they are close by. 

Colleagues that knows how to rock their job in all kinds of ways, but also goof around when it gets quiet. 

Old friends that I don’t talk to that often, but whenever we meet, we have so many shared stories to laugh about that everything feels like it happened yesterday.

Creative souls that inspire me by just being themselves, but also share their struggles whenever they end up in a rut just like I do from time to time. 

Strangers that brightens up the world that they walk upon, and the ones that share compliments without wanting anything in return but the joy of it. 

Soulmates that can never be replaced, and no matter how long a time that passes without speaking, we still know just how strong the love is! 

Eyes that glitter. Contagious smiles. Relatable tears. Beautiful bodies in all shapes and sizes! 

To all of the every day Goddesses and Superwomen in the world! I’m so grateful for the honor of sharing this tiny spot in the universe with you guys! 

I love you all ❤️ YOU ROCK!

Happy International Women’s Day! 

I Smiled and It Made Me Cry

About a week before Christmas I had a very powerful and wonderful experience. I tried to write about it back then, but couldn’t seem to find the right words, so it ended up as an unfiltered mess in my journal instead. But now I’m giving it a second go.

I can’t remember exactly what I’d been doing that evening, but I was on my way home.

I remember lots of moonlight and my breath coming out in frosty clouds. With music in my ears I walked without really paying attention to where I was going, lost in thought. And then all of a sudden I stopped walking, looked up at the stars and noticed that I was smiling. No, not just smiling, I was grinning! And the best part was, I had no idea why!

This is not uncommon for me. I find joy in the smallest of things, and I’m obnoxiously positive (most of the time), but this was little over a month after my recent heartbreak. It had been a while since I’d felt like the regular me.

And the thing that hit me hard in that moment was that I realized just how long I’d gone without feeling that kind of joy over nothing but a nice night out, and being lost in my own headspace.  Upon that realization, I started to cry. So I walked the rest of the way home, looking like a grinning, crying lunatic, and I didn’t even care.

The tears came from the overwhelming sensation of knowing that I was finally on my way back to my usual self! They were tears of relief!

When I got home, the first thing I did was that I sent a text to the group chat I have with some of my closest girlfriends. I wanted to share my special moment, and the soulmates I have that I needed to tell it to was them! And not just because I wanted to share what had happened, but also because I know that the road would’ve been a lot longer to walk without meaningless grins if it weren’t for all of their love and support.

I had to tell them, because much of that moment was thanks to them. And most importantly, I had to tell them just how much I love them for being the wonderful people that they are!

Now I won’t try to say that every day since then has been all smiles and sunshine, but I’m happy to report that I find myself grinning for no reason more and more often!

It feels so good! In a way, it feels like coming home ❤️

When was the last time you grinned by yourself for no reason? If it’s been a while, I hope you get there soon! And while you heal, I’m here, if you need me…

 

Friendship isn’t a big thing…

One thing that always overwhelm me whenever I’m having a hard time (and am willing to admit it) is how much love I have in my life. I wouldn’t say that I have a lot of friends, but I do have a few and the ones that are closest to me are so warmhearted and they give so much of themselves.

I’m so lucky to be surrounded by people with so much love to give. Friends that will cry together with me, as well as roll around on the floor laughing till we almost pee our pants. And I will do the same for them. This is something I wish for everyone to have in their life. And it’s not important to collect many of these friends, but to hold on to and nourish those friendships that are true. I know it isn’t always easy. I’ve done the mistake of forgetting to take care of my friendships several times, and so have they. At times it’s easy to get wrapped up in everything that’s going on in your own life, and hard to move outside of ones own bubble. It’s just the way it is. But we always end up with a reminder. Something that bursts the bubble and shows us how important all of the things outside of it really is.

And if there’s one thing the last week has been a reminder of for me, it’s how much love I have in my life. How much I love those dorky and wonderful friends of mine. And above all; how grateful I am for them loving me back.

Thank you for the warm thoughts and wishes, for the shoulders to cry on, the bad jokes, the late nights, the phone calls and the warm hugs. You guys are the best and I love you more than words can say!

Friendship isn’t a big thing – It’s a million little things ❤️

Late Night Thoughts and Coffee Cups

For some reason I always end up staying up late, immersed in my own thoughts and creativity whenever I go back home to my parents for a visit. Could be the change of scenery or maybe just the comfort of being on home base that brings out something that’s been tucked away for a while. 

Some of it probably comes from the deep conversations I have with close family and friends when I come around. They bring a lot of subjects and thoughts to the surface that I rarely touch on with other people in my everyday life. This is something that I’m extremely grateful for and definitely always look forward to when I’m going home, but it also makes for a bit of a bitter sweet experience. Late nights of writing and endless coffee refills (not that I need it. I’m pretty much immune to caffeine at this point!) has become sort of a routine. 

Over the past few days I’ve had a mini-vacation back to my hometown just to have some quality time with my family and friends, and to recharge my batteries for the hectic time to come. These last couple of days can definitely be described as interesting. Not that there’s much to tell that would be of any interest to anyone else but me, but the experience in general has just been wonderful. A lot of meaningful conversations, new ideas, reconnected friendships and lots and lots of good coffee. I crave these kind of inputs in my life on a regular basis, to clear my head a bit and to see my life and thoughts from a different perspective. It’s healthy for me, and I think a lot of people could benefit from similar experiences. We all need to step back a little from time to time, to really be able to see where everything is going and to really be able to understand ones needs. We get so caught up in everyday life (nothing wrong with that! We all live it.) that we push away the important thoughts and questions, storing them for a later and “more convenient” time. But the very truth and essence of everyday life is that it is exactly that: YOUR LIFE! It’s not the time that you wait around for life to actually start happening. It’s not the time where everything that goes down is of less significance because the events aren’t huge! It’s the everydays that mounts up to the life that you choose to live. 

I don’t knoe about you guys, but sometimes I need a little reminder of exactly that. And that’s what I love so much about coming home to the important people in my life that I don’t have around me as often as I’d like, in my everyday life. 

So I take the late nights, the deep thinking, the laughter, the crying, the joy, the pain, the tough questions, the light hearted jokes and all the cups of coffee. I take them all with so much gratefulness. Because in my experience, the only ones who takes you on that ride and asks the tough questions (and really listen to your answers as well) are the ones who truly cares about your well-being. Those are the people that I need to recharge and rethink. 

And to you (come on! Don’t pretend you don’t know who you are): 

Thank you! 

I probably don’t say that enough! Thank you! 

  

How did I become so lucky?

Most of us have a very dear childhood friend in mind when we think back. Can you remember yours?

It’s not a given that the wonderful childhood friendship is one that’s going to follow you into adulthood. Some gets lost along the way, and others just grow apart. Some are lost in fights (meaningless mostly) and others are hard to explain why they slipped away.

How did I become so lucky, that I got to keep my best friend?

She’s been the sunshine in my life for twenty years, and there’s a reason why I’ve never called any boyfriend my soulmate and that’s because that position has always been taken by my best friend.

How she’s been able to stick around through all my crazy and (at times) hopelessness is beyond me!

I can tell her anything, good or bad. We can tell each other the truth, without hesitation, because we’ve learned how important it is to say it like it is. We’ve grown up together, and even if we had times when the distance between us was greater than others, we always found our way back to each other.

All the laughter and all the tears are memories I cherish with my whole heart and soul. True friendship is nothing to be taken lightly. It’s a force beyond recognition. To have someone in your life that knows when to ask you the tough questions. That sees how you’re really feeling, when you haven’t even said it out loud. Someone who loves your crazy, just as much as your serious side. Someone who encourages your dreams and share theirs.

I’m sitting here with wine in my glass, writing messages with my best friend, writing this, with a smile on my mouth and tears running down my cheeks. And it’s because I’m so eternally grateful.

You inspire me. You give the best hugs! You always know just what to say to make it all feel better!

I feel so lucky to have you as a friend and I hope we can goof around together until we’re wrinkled and old, and can talk about our adventures in “the good old days”.

I love you!

My New Favorite Movie

I don’t often talk about movies on this blog, when I’ve happened to watch the same movie about 10-15 times in about a month then I think it’s worth being mentioned.

I very randomly discovered this movie on Viaplay a couple of months ago. The first time I watched it I didn’t really expect to be hit with all the feels, but laughter and tears came and a new favorite was born.

This is a movie that is so quirky, heartwarming and different. I just fell utterly in love with it and we haven’t broken up yet.

Let’s jump into the trailer for What If (The F Word):

I guess one of the things that made me randomly choose this movie to watch (never having heard of it beforehand) was Daniel Radcliffe. I hadn’t seen him in any other movies than Harry Potter and I was very curious to see what kind of actor he was when the lightning scar was out of the picture. And I thought he did it brilliantly in this! The cast is amazing, the story spot on and dialogue between the characters are just brilliant!!

It really does have an honest touch on the subject of the possibilities of platonic relationships in a very funny and unique way.

It’s just such an amazing story that grabbed a hold of me from the start and it’s hard to really explain what it is that makes me fangirl all over it, but I have no regrets.

Let me know if you have any thoughts around this movie, I’d love to hear and discuss it!

So now I’m leaving you guys to (yet again) press play on tape and I’ll talk to you later!

I Was Thinking About Soulmates

If you Google the word soulmate, this is the definition that pops up first:

“A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.”

On Wikipedia I also found this:

In his dialogue The Symposium, Plato has Aristophanes present a story about soulmates. Aristophanes states that humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. He continues that there were three genders: man, woman and the “Androgynous”. Each with two sets of genitalia with the Androgynous having both male and female genitalia. The men were children of the sun, the women were children of the earth and the Androgynous were children of the moon, which was born of the sun and earth. It is said that humans had great strength at the time and threatened to conquer the gods. The gods were then faced with the prospect of destroying the humans with lightning as they had done with the Titans but then they would lose the tributes given to the gods by humans. Zeus developed a creative solution by splitting humans in half as punishment for humanity’s pride and doubling the number of humans who would give tribute to the gods. These split humans were in utter misery to the point where they would not eat and would perish so Apollo had sewn them up and reconstituted their bodies with the navel being the only remnant harkening back to their original form. Each human would then only have one set of genitalia and would forever long for his/her other half; the other half of his/her soul. It is said that when the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lie with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that

***

Two very interesting definitions of the term Soulmate.

I will share my own.

I believe that a soulmate is a person that you feel naturally drawn to. An instant connection that cannot be explained in any other words. Someone who dares to tell you the truth even if it hurts. 

A soulmate is someone who cries with you, laughs with you and goes the distance. Someone who is always there even when you might feel like you don’t deserve it. 

They are the light that forces itself through the darkest of times and help you find your way. 

When i was younger I always thought about “The One” when I heard about the word soulmate, but now I see my closest friends as my soulmates. 

Relationships come and they go, but the friends that stay by me are the mates that matches my soul.

To me soulmates are more about friendships than lovers!

You guys are the ones that I love no matter what. The ones that I will always forgive. The ones I can never imagine my life without and I’m so incredibly grateful for having found you guys!

I know that I can always come to you with my joys and my sorrows and I love that you guys can do the same.  

I probably don’t tell you guys how much I love you as much as I should but I’m hoping that you know just how a big part of my life you are! You guys are my everything through thick and thin!

You guys are the best soulmates a gingerkid like me could ever have!

You guys know who you are!

*hugs and kisses*