Here’s what I think about mornings!

Most days I wake up with sleep still lingering in my eyes, and my body feeling heavy from the trip back from dreamland and into reality. But I also wake up being grateful for the fact that I get another day. I’m usually excited about what’s to come.

It took me a lot of years to realize that every morning is a new beginning. And every day is an opportunity for anything to happen.

On the days that I have to leave early for work, it makes me extra happy to see the sun come through my window to greet me. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t love to stay in bed for a few more hours, but when I actually do get up, it’s rare that I do so without a hint of a smile on my face, even though it is a sleepy one.

On the weekends, I love waking up to the sound of rain. Knowing that I have nowhere to rush off to. I can turn up the music, dance around in my pj’s and just enjoy the moment. Or, I can crawl out of bed, get comfy with a book on my couch and just stay there. Sometimes I even go so far that I get out of bed to make my morning coffee, just to bring it back into bed and stay there for as long as I feel like it. Because even though I love new experiences and adventures, I also love to spend a day doing absolutely nothing remotely productive at times. Well, except for reading of course. And that in itself is kind of like going on an adventure. So maybe they’re not so far apart after all.

During the summer I like to bring my morning coffee outside, together with some fresh fruit, and just sit and listen to the birds. It’s a wonderful thing to just enjoy the morning as a new beginning to what is yet unknown.

I like to think about what I am grateful for in the morning. If I have the time, I will write down five things that I am grateful for in my journal. If I’ve snoozed for too long, I try to make a mental list instead.

Those are most of my days. But there are other days. Other mornings. Once in a while, I will wake up and feel overwhelmed by the world. On those days the morning does not feel like an exciting start to a new adventure. On those days it feels like the morning is a heavy demon that sits on my chest and refuses to move. I can ask it nicely, scream at it, fight it, but it just won’t budge. It will stay put, looking down at me and start whispering all the things I don’t want to hear.

Those days are hard. Getting out of bed is a challenge on days like that.

Whether you’ve experienced the same thing or not, I just want you to know that it’s okay to have tough mornings as well as the good ones. Life is hard. It’s challenging and it will test us. Not every morning can be filled with singing birds and gratitude lists. Some mornings will suck, and that’s okay. Don’t let it get to you. Don’t let the bad days define you.

But I’m also here to remind you to be extra mindful of both the good and the bad mornings. Take notice of your feelings, and of what is going on in your life. Listen to your body, and to your inner voice.

Cherish the good morning! Learn from the bad ones ❤️

Not About You – POEM

This is not about you

But some of it is because of you

Because of what we once were, and all we will never be

Because of the broken dreams and the shattered heart,

both of which has barely mended

Because I can’t pretend like it didn’t happen

Because love doesn’t just disappear

This is not about you

This is about protecting what’s fragile

Allowing the mended to strengthen

Giving it a fair chance of a new start

This is about me

❤️

©Christina de Vries

 

Love Your Mistakes

We all have them. Those moments where we make a choice, and at the very second that it’s made, we know that it’s probably a mistake. For some reason though, I’m guessing mostly out of uncontrollable curiosity, we do it anyways. Sometimes it’s a make it or break it move, other times it’s just a tiny thing that doesn’t really have much of an impact. Sometimes we end up regretting the choice for a long time, other times though, even though it looks like a mistake, it’s the exact right move that needs to be made. A messy road that needs to be walked to get through the chaos and come out on the other side to find the right path.

Sometimes a moment of the present seems so much like a nostalgic part of our past that it’s hard to be mindful of the fact that nothing has really changed, and then you lose yourself in it. Making the choice to walk it will have you running around in a circle of what could have been, but isn’t.

A bittersweet moment of walking through all of the what ifs and all of the dreams and hopes that you’ve already worked so hard to let go of. And you find yourself in the eye of the storm, with a blurry vision of everything around you. You’re blissfully and painfully aware of what is, and what’s to come at the same time. Then you wait.

The storm either hits you hard when you’re not quite ready yet, or you choose to take the painful steps into it. You let it hit you, and you let yourself feel all that needs to be felt so that you can come out through the other side as a stronger and wiser human being.

Sometimes, being hit by the storm is the only way of making sure that you won’t get trapped by the very same storm once again in the future. The next time you see it approaching, you will know where to turn and how to prepare yourself. You’ll recognize it for the pain that it caused and the new pain that it promises. You will no longer be fooled into the mirage of what you want it to be, as opposed to the reality of what it actually is. You will know better!

Do not get yourself down for the mistakes that you’ve made. The choices that you wish were different. It has already been done, and no matter how much you practice the what if game, it will not change anything.

Learn to love your mistakes. Be grateful for whatever it has taught you about other people, but mostly about yourself.

I can promise you one thing though; you will make new ones!

That is the beauty and the pain of being human.

Just know that your mistakes do not define you, but you can make the choice to grow from them. To learn, to get better and to be grateful❤️

I very recently made a mistake. A wrong choice that I knew I should have not made. A path to walk that I instantly knew that I probably should not venture out on. Now, I find myself here on the other side, and even though the walk came with pain and tears, it also came with a profound healing. It was just the path that I needed to walk to realize the reality and the difference between my past dreams and the present. I could finally see it all for what it actually was, and I can finally move on.

Does it still hurt? Hell yeah! In so many ways! But now I know that the pain is part of the healing and of the letting go. I have no desire to go back. I have no need for what ifs, and I am no longer a host of delusions for some dream that will never come true.

Dear mistake, I wish I didn’t have to experience you, but I’m glad that I did. I love you for all that you’ve taught me, and for all that you will continue to teach me.

Thank you❤️

What I Have Learned From Pain

A lot of people have a very strong fear of the feeling of psychological pain, and that is completely understandable. Other have a craving for it. I wouldn’t say that I fall into either of the two categories.

I don’t particularly enjoy the hurt, but whenever I come across it, I choose to be very mindful of the pain. It’s not the same as wallowing in it, or making it into a bigger deal than it is. It is about being open to the lessons that are there to be learned because of the pain. It’s about daring to say: You know what, I’m not okay, but that’s okay too!

In a lecture by Alan Watts, he talks about how there is no wrong way to feel because feelings are something that comes to you, and that happens (very often) without your ability to control it in that very moment. You can control how you choose to act on it, and thereby shift your path into new ones that will come with other emotions, but what you are feeling is a 100% true to you. I really like that way of thinking, and I believe that kind of mindset is a way to be very mindful of your emotions.

Don’t shut them out. Don’t hide them. And don’t be embarrassed by them. Meet them at the door and instead of telling them to leave, ask them why they have come. Ask them what they can teach you, and how you can grow from it ❤️

That is what I have learned from my painful experiences; that no matter how much it hurts or how hopeless everything feels in the midst of it all, I always come out on the other side as a stronger and more aware person. Through all of the experiences, all of the emotions (good and bad) and all the people I meet, that is the way that I grow. And if there’s one thing that I will always strive for, it is to continuously grow for as long as I get to wander this earth❤️

The Word is GROWTH!

After a lot of pondering and thinking about how I want the upcoming year to be, and what I want to focus on, it became quite clear that there was one thing that was very present in all of them, and that is personal growth.

I have a lot of ambitions and things that I want to accomplish in the near future. And I think that all of our experiences while on the road to our goals are paths of growth. Some happen unintentionally and some we search for. I know I’ve done my fair share of intentional personal growth over the last year and a half, and I’ve learned so much. Now I want to take it even further.

I want to dive deeper, focus harder and step out of the comfort zone even more often.

I turned 30 yesterday, and a couple of days ago I wrote about how I set a word for the year that I was 29. That word was EXPERIENCES. The word for 30 will be GROWTH.

Yesterday I started making a list of the things that I want to learn and do, and the places I would like to go. It is not done yet, but it’s getting there. It’s one that I will put up somewhere in my apartment where I will see it often, so that I won’t lose my focus.

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At this very moment, I’d like to keep the list to myself. This is one that I’ve made just for me, but I will tell you more about it at a later time.

Even though I’m not sharing the details of this list quite yet, I can still promise you that I’m going to bring you guys along for the ride of this year. And this right here; my very own spot online is a very big part of it all.

Let’s go on some new adventures together! I have a feeling that this year is going to be a very important and interesting one ☺️

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