Wrinkles and White Hairs

I’ve had wrinkles around my mouth and my eyes for a few years already. I like to call them my smile lines.

I also have a line between my brows that I’ve had for a really long time. I call that one my worry line. I’m guessing it started showing in my early teens.

Last year I discovered my first white hair. We gingers usually go white instead of grey, and now it’s my turn to get the same change as Gandalf!

I told my grandmother on my dad’s side about my discovery last year, and she (who’s also a ginger) told me that by the time she turned 35, she had quite a lot of white hairs.

So what do I think about my signs of aging?

I’m all here for it! In a world where people spend a crazy amount of time and money trying to look younger than they are, so many have forgotten about what a privilege it is to be allowed to get older.

There are so many out there who aren’t that lucky.  

Every day young people are robbed from the opportunity of growing older. Some by accidents, some by illness, some by cruelty, and some by their own hands. We tend to forget the fact that every second that we live and breathe here on this planet, is nothing short of a bloody miracle!

I know that we all have hard days. Tough days where words like privilege, grateful and miracle don’t even come close to what we are really feeling. But even those days are days where we grow and are lucky to have the opportunity to learn from.

I see countless bloggers, YouTubers, and influencers who are trying to convince other women and men to get treatments for the signs of aging. I’m not here to try to do the same. I’m here to encourage you to see those signs as beauty and not flaws. What you choose to spend your time and money on is entirely up to you. Your body, your choice!

How lucky am I to have smiled so much throughout my life that the markings of them are permanently on my face for the world to see. What an interesting and eventful life I’ve had so far, and the worry line between my brows is one of the many proofs of the moments and hurdles that I’ve had to overcome.

I’m so blessed to be able to grow older and get white hair while I can watch my son becoming more and more of a little man. I’ve gotten to grow older with fantastic friends and wonderful family.

I still get to learn new things every day! How lucky I am! It’s enough to make my eyes water just to think about the fact that I’ve been so lucky to be able to live for as long as I have and experience the things that I’ve done. I can only hope that my journey will continue for many more years.

I think we all need to remind ourselves of this more often, myself included.

In a world where we are constantly bombarded with the message that we have to look like we never eat, we exercise all the time, while we live a fabulous life globetrotting the world and never aging a day, it’s hard to lose focus of what really matters, and just how lucky we often are.

Don’t let the media fool you into chasing an unrealistic beauty ideal or means to happiness. You are a freaking wonder; wrinkles, grey/white hairs, bumps and all! ❤️

You Can Miss Someone and Not Want Them Back

“I miss him.”

“Why? He broke your heart? You know he’s no good for you!”

Sounds familiar?

Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s perfectly okay to miss someone and not want them back! If you need it, then I hereby give you the total freedom to miss that someone. Just try to not get completely lost in it, and make decisions that you know aren’t good for you out from that feeling. Because the missing someone, we can’t really control, no matter how much we’d like to. But we are in control of our actions based on the feelings we feel.

And even though a relationship ended for all the right reasons, or all the wrong reasons, there is a good chance that you can still look back on that relationship and see some of the parts that was good about it. You’re allowed to miss that. Often it isn’t really about missing that someone anyways, it’s usually about missing what that someone made you feel.

How you smiled more, how your heart skipped a beat, how you impatiently looked forward to the next time you would see each other again, and how your body reacted to that other person’s touch, sounds and/or smells. It is only human that when someone or something that took up so much space in your everyday life, suddenly just doesn’t, that it takes some adjustment.

I believe that we find ourselves again after every breakup, and that someone we find is naturally different from the one we used to be.

Because who are we are tend to change when you and I turns into we, and as a couple we tend do evolve together as well as on our own. And when that evolved entity breaks apart, we are left with a part that feels unfinished. We feel broken, and after the grieving and the worst of the pain we start the search, not for the one, but for the one we want to be. And that someone isn’t always the one we used to be. Sometimes it’s someone entirely different. Sometimes it’s finding a whole new you.

Well, I guess everyone’s path to walk and way to process is different, but this is how I usually experience going through a breakup.

And even though I am very grateful and happy or all the experiences that I’ve had, and how much I’ve learned from them, I still find myself missing the good parts of relationships that obviously wasn’t meant to be.

I used to beat myself up about it, but I try not to do that anymore. Instead, I let the emotions go through me, then I remind myself of the thing that I don’t miss, and afterwards I make a mental list of what I can take away from the experiences. What have I learned about the things I want (and don’t want) in my life and in my relationships.

Life is a constant education, and we have to try our very best to make the most of it. Because life is short and love is precious. People can be cruel, but they can be pretty awe droppingly amazing too.

So, don’t beat yourself up for missing someone you don’t want back. Acknowledge the fact that after everything you’ve gone through, you’re still able to see the good things in all the hurt. You love yourself enough to miss the warm feeling of your own happiness.

Give yourself a big hug (or imagine that I’m giving you one) and then get out there and make some new memories.

You deserve that happiness❤️

Sometimes Friendships End In Breakups

Friendship is a funny thing. Some last for years and years, while others for only a shorter period of time. Sometimes those who start out as acquaintances turn into friends, but other times it goes the other way around. Friends are so important to us all, but we also live out our own separate lives outside of the friendships that we have, and the time we spend with our friends will vary depending on how much time and energy we have on our hand.

Sometimes we will spend more time with certain friends than with our own family. Sometimes our friends become our family. Other times we are so wrapped up in work, kids, projects and such that we don’t get to see our friends nearly as much as we’d like to. There are even times when we don’t have what it takes to see them. When the state of our mental health is at a place where social interaction with even the people that we love the most feel like a struggle. And all of this is completely okay. It might be hard to deal with as the friend on the other side at times, just as much as the friend who’s struggling.

One thing that I find to be really hard is when I can’t really tell if a friend wants to stay a friend, or they want to move on. Just as romantic relationships sometimes come to an end, so do friendships at times.

But telling the difference between having a friend that’s just super busy, and a friend that maybe wants to move on without you, it can be hard. Maybe it’s mostly hard because it’s hard to let go. Especially when there’s a friendship that’s taken years to build. It’s hard to come to terms with all of that just going up into smoke.

Even so, there are times when the only right thing is to do exactly that; to let go.

It doesn’t mean that you would never let that friend back in, but when you’ve tried and tried again to keep the connection alive, there comes a time when you have to say;

“Look, I love you, but it feels like you’re not that interested in staying in touch at the moment and I don’t want to have to feel like I’m the only one trying. So now the ball is in your court. I will be here if you ever feel like doing something, but you’ll have to let me know if and when you want to.”

It might feel like a breakup. It might even be a breakup. But your life is short, and your time and energy is so, so valuable! Make sure you do not waste it. Set boundaries, and be honest while still being kind, not only to others, but to yourself as well❤️

The World is Filled With Noise!

We are surrounded by it! I’m not talking about loud music or crazy neighbors (although some of you out there might be surrounded by that as well) no, I’m talking about the noises of expectations. All those voices, faces and adds that constantly tries to tell us how to live our lives, what kind of careers we should have, how many kids, when the right time to settle down is, what the right kind of relationship should be, what beauty looks like, and it goes on and on and on.

I used to listen to that noise when I was younger. Not only did I listen, but I took hell a lot of mental notes as well to try to map out how to make the perfect life for myself.

It wasn’t until I realized that the noise I was hearing was the product of what would make everyone else satisfied, but it wouldn’t make me happy that things started to change. Deep down I knew that I didn’t really want a typical lifestyle or a typical relationship, but my own voices had been drowned out by the constant noise of societies expectations. As soon as I stopped focusing on their voices and started to listen to my own, that’s when I fell in love with the silence.

That’s when I really started to love being in my own company, and found joy in mapping out the life that I really did want!

I started with being grateful for the things in my life that I already had. The things that are so easy to overlook when we’re always looking for something bigger or better.

I took time to just be present with myself and my own thoughts. I wrote, a lot. Lists and thoughts and dreams. Anything that would come to mind, I would put down on that paper or screen. That made it easier to sort out the noises that were still creeping in from time to time and throw those away.

Another great thing that happened was that the more I got other’s voices to leave my mind alone, the more I trusted my own inner voices. My gut feelings made more sense, and it is usually right.

It’s easy to be overwhelmed by the noise that is all around us, and so very hard to get rid of it. It’s constant work, but it is worth it.

So here’s me, one still learning how to find my very own path in this crazy world, giving you a friendly reminder to listen to the quiet. Find the things that make you happy, not everyone else, and then do THAT! Take time to be surrounded by silence. Meditate. Put your thoughts down and see where they take you.

I know I’ve said this a million times already, but I’m going to say it again:

LOVE YOURSELF❤️

There’s no one else quite like you, so don’t take away the chance for the world to experience the wonders that you can do!

I Get Lonely Too…

I love spending time in my own company.

But don’t you get lonely?

Of course I do!

So, this is a question I often get when I talk about self-love and being single. In a modern world where everyone is in such a rush to find the perfect job, the perfect partner, and to build the perfect life, I find myself in less and less of a rush to settle down.

Now don’t get me wrong, I would love to meet a partner in crime. I would love to have someone to drink coffee with in the morning, travel the world with, and make memories and have new experiences with. But even though I don’t have all of that in a man in my life right now, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I feel like something is missing in my life. I’m very lucky to have the wonderful people in my life that I have, to be able to travel, have food on the table, a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. Even more so, I’m incredibly lucky to be able to have new experiences and make memories with my son!

But being grateful with my life as a single woman doesn’t mean that I never get lonely. And feeling lonely at times doesn’t mean that I’m unhappy.

My happiness isn’t solely based on the romantic relationships that I’m in, or in my case aren’t in at the moment. I work hard and I’m very mindful about how I treat myself and what kind of energy I surround myself with. Being happy isn’t something that magically happens when you get a partner. Being happy comes from gratitude, friendships, mindfulness, and self-love.

I love my life, even though I’m constantly working on reaching the goals and dreams I have set for myself. But the reason I find so much happiness in the life that I have is that it’s all I have. This, here, RIGHT NOW! It’s all that matters, and the only thing that’s for certain. We don’t know how long we get to stay, how many people we get to love, how many times we get to hug our friends and family. So why do we live in the past that has already left us, or the future that we have no guaranty of?

So yes, I am lonely sometimes, but this is all a journey, and is equally as much one, with or without a partner ❤️Make sure you enjoy it!

An Act of Love

Today I bought roses.

I saw them and I thought about how much she would love them. How she would smile when she found the perfect spot for them in her living room. How she would stop and take the moment to smell them several times a day.

I thought about how she would marvel at their beauty. How she would look at them and see entire stories in each petal.

I thought about how inspired they would make her. How she would let the flowers trace her skin. How the sensation would be emotional, turn into words and end up as poetry.

I looked at them and knew that even though getting them seemed like a little thing, it would be so far from it. For how can you call anything small if it makes someone smile. If a single act turns into gratitude and creativity, then I would say that it’s closer to massive.

So I bought the flowers for her. I took them home to her place and watched as every thought I had about them unfolded into reality.

I bought roses and I gave them to me. It was an act of love and one that I’m so grateful for❤️

Love yourself enough to act on it ❤️

The Shitty Side of Being Single

I know that I write a lot about self-love, taking myself out on dates and personal growth while being single, and I stand by all of that! I think it’s so incredibly important to learn to love oneself! I think it’s important to grow and be mindful of the situations that you find yourself in!

That being said, there are moments in single life (as well as in relationship life) that are just shitty. So in the name of honesty, here are some shitty sides of being single:

💩 No Spoon Sundays

I’m not saying you can’t spoon someone on a Sunday even though you’re single, but there will be Sundays when you wake up alone and all you wish for is for someone to big spoon you all day on the couch while you both eat junk food and candy, and watch Netflix. Sometimes those days are a little shitty.

💩 The Ghosting

Anyone who’s ever been through the dating game for a while will have been through the shitty experience of being completely ghosted and it sucks! I’m not talking about going on one date, not feeling it and then moving on. Even though I wish we were all that upfront and honest about our feelings. I even wish I was that bold!

No, I’m talking about the settings where you’ve dated for a while, you know you’re super into the other person, and you’re pretty confident that they feel the same way (or even better; they tell you that they are *melt*) and then all of the sudden *POOF* they’re gone. No explanation, no heads up, they just disappear. It’s one of the really shitty and unfair sides of being single and dating. People have so little respect for other people’s feelings that they do not dare to voice their own. It’s a bloody shame, and I’m pretty sure we can do better than that!

💩 The Shareable Memories

You know that moment where you find yourself watching an extraordinary sunset, you travel and something unbelievable takes place, or there’s just a regular day where something small, but beautiful happens. I love moments like that, but sometimes I come across them and I just wish that I had someone that could experience it together with me. Someone that I can later sit and reminisce with. Someone to share the moment that will soon become a memory with. Although I want to mention that each and every moment like that makes me so grateful to be alive and there ❤️

💩 Couple’s Nights

That moment where you find out that you’re the only one at the party who arrives alone. Sometimes you just own it, other times, it feels a little shitty.

💩 Paper (t)Issues

When you find yourself on that white marble seat, needing some toilet paper, and then realizing that you left the newly bought pack of 18 rolls in the kitchen. That’s just shitty, plain and simple. Knight in shining armor (with toilet paper to the rescue), where the fuck are you when you’re needed?!

💩

So there you have it; Some of the shitty sides of being single.

It’s not all laughs, adventures, hot escapades and smiles… But most of the time it’s a pretty awesome life if that’s what you make it into ❤️

Love yourself and the pieces of shit that comes your way won’t matter all that much❤️ Just clean it off, put on a smashing new outfit and rock on! You got this!

 

 

Something About Moving On

I’ve written about the subject of letting go and moving on multiple times on this blog, and I will probably continue on writing about it for years to come.

To master the act of letting go and moving on, you have to go through experience after experience, and it will never feel or be exactly the same. Mainly because every relationship we go through is different. The reasons for letting go and having to move in might look very much the same in some situations, but they might feel completely different.

The time it takes will also vary from relationship to relationship. Sometimes it’s as easy as flipping a switch, because you’ve been preparing yourself for it to happen. Other times, it might feel like it takes forever. You’re heart and soul will ache and break till the point where you’re sure that moving on isn’t even an option, but it is.

The feeling is still valid as ever. Your feelings are your truths, and you should never be ashamed of the hurt or the sadness that you’re feeling. It’s a part of the process.

Letting go and moving on is not something one can ever become and expert in. It’s difficult and just like personal growth, it’s something you have to keep working on constantly.

You will make it if you try though. It might not feel like it if you’re in the middle of it right now, and I know that you might not want to hear it, but it’s the absolute truth.

So go through the emotions. Get sad and angry if you need to. Scream to the wind, dance it out, kiss as many as you need to get the taste of him/her off your lips, and then get ready for something new and exciting.

Let go. Move on. And when you’re ready; open up again.

It’s hard, I know. Scares the shit out of me too, but we got this ❤️

Don’t Sit Around Waiting

Nothing exciting ever happens to the ones who just sit around waiting for life to start. I see (and hear) way too many people who complain about wanting more, about being bored and missing that certain someone to come into their lives.

We all have those moments where we wish that things could be a little bit different, but there’s one thing to wish and pursue, a whole other thing to sit around and think that the things that will make your dreams come true will just come knocking at your door. It (or they) won’t, I can promise you that.

To be able to attract the things you love, and the people that you come to love, you first have to practice self-love. You have to radiate the energy of what you want to have in your life. Get out there, explore, learn new things, surround yourself with inspiring people and places!

You have to fall in love with yourself and your life (flaws and all) to ever truly be able to invite someone else in to do the same.

Do not sit around and wait for life to happen! It’s happening right now, this very second, and if you sit around waiting for it to hit it, you’re going to miss it! Every second is so valuable, and so unreplaceable. You can never get it back!

Don’t let life pass you by ❤️

Let’s Talk About Changes

Or rather the constant change in our bodies. I’ve gone through some ups and downs when it comes to weight. I went through pregnancy at age 19, and a whole lot of changes happen through that time, and for a while after as well. I’ve had periods of time where I’ve been quite fit, and then some when I have been “just slim”.

It’s a weird thing how we look at ourselves so differently through our changes, but also how we perceive ourselves through the the changes in our lives. If I’m having a shitty day, I very rarely look at myself in the mirror and think “But damn! At least I look good!”

Our moods and our feelings shines through with our body language. And it never fails that the days where I feel good and grateful, those are the days where the unexpected compliments suddenly make their appearances.

I’ve been noticing a few new changes in my body over the last weeks, mostly because I’ve been focusing on taking better care of both my body and my mind. And I think it’s important to think about how removing toxic elements from your life can make just as much of a difference to your confidence as removing the toxic food that will show healthy changes in your body.

To be clear, I’m not talking about dieting. I’m talking about being mindful about what you put into your body.

Our bodies and our minds are so fascinating and wonderful in so many ways. It’s about time we started to treat both as they deserve. And I know it’s not always easy. Toxic elements have a funny way of sneaking up on us and hang around for way longer than we should’ve allowed them. But the more we focus on body positivity, healthy lifestyle and making good changes, the easier it will be to love yourself and to make good choices!

Love your body and your mind enough to take good care of both, and be mindful through the changes ❤️