We all have them. Those moments where we make a choice, and at the very second that it’s made, we know that it’s probably a mistake. For some reason though, I’m guessing mostly out of uncontrollable curiosity, we do it anyways. Sometimes it’s a make it or break it move, other times it’s just a tiny thing that doesn’t really have much of an impact. Sometimes we end up regretting the choice for a long time, other times though, even though it looks like a mistake, it’s the exact right move that needs to be made. A messy road that needs to be walked to get through the chaos and come out on the other side to find the right path.
Sometimes a moment of the present seems so much like a nostalgic part of our past that it’s hard to be mindful of the fact that nothing has really changed, and then you lose yourself in it. Making the choice to walk it will have you running around in a circle of what could have been, but isn’t.
A bittersweet moment of walking through all of the what ifs and all of the dreams and hopes that you’ve already worked so hard to let go of. And you find yourself in the eye of the storm, with a blurry vision of everything around you. You’re blissfully and painfully aware of what is, and what’s to come at the same time. Then you wait.
The storm either hits you hard when you’re not quite ready yet, or you choose to take the painful steps into it. You let it hit you, and you let yourself feel all that needs to be felt so that you can come out through the other side as a stronger and wiser human being.
Sometimes, being hit by the storm is the only way of making sure that you won’t get trapped by the very same storm once again in the future. The next time you see it approaching, you will know where to turn and how to prepare yourself. You’ll recognize it for the pain that it caused and the new pain that it promises. You will no longer be fooled into the mirage of what you want it to be, as opposed to the reality of what it actually is. You will know better!
Do not get yourself down for the mistakes that you’ve made. The choices that you wish were different. It has already been done, and no matter how much you practice the what if game, it will not change anything.
Learn to love your mistakes. Be grateful for whatever it has taught you about other people, but mostly about yourself.
I can promise you one thing though; you will make new ones!
That is the beauty and the pain of being human.
Just know that your mistakes do not define you, but you can make the choice to grow from them. To learn, to get better and to be grateful❤️
I very recently made a mistake. A wrong choice that I knew I should have not made. A path to walk that I instantly knew that I probably should not venture out on. Now, I find myself here on the other side, and even though the walk came with pain and tears, it also came with a profound healing. It was just the path that I needed to walk to realize the reality and the difference between my past dreams and the present. I could finally see it all for what it actually was, and I can finally move on.
Does it still hurt? Hell yeah! In so many ways! But now I know that the pain is part of the healing and of the letting go. I have no desire to go back. I have no need for what ifs, and I am no longer a host of delusions for some dream that will never come true.
Dear mistake, I wish I didn’t have to experience you, but I’m glad that I did. I love you for all that you’ve taught me, and for all that you will continue to teach me.
Thank you❤️
Christina de Vries 