I Get Lonely Too…

I love spending time in my own company.

But don’t you get lonely?

Of course I do!

So, this is a question I often get when I talk about self-love and being single. In a modern world where everyone is in such a rush to find the perfect job, the perfect partner, and to build the perfect life, I find myself in less and less of a rush to settle down.

Now don’t get me wrong, I would love to meet a partner in crime. I would love to have someone to drink coffee with in the morning, travel the world with, and make memories and have new experiences with. But even though I don’t have all of that in a man in my life right now, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I feel like something is missing in my life. I’m very lucky to have the wonderful people in my life that I have, to be able to travel, have food on the table, a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. Even more so, I’m incredibly lucky to be able to have new experiences and make memories with my son!

But being grateful with my life as a single woman doesn’t mean that I never get lonely. And feeling lonely at times doesn’t mean that I’m unhappy.

My happiness isn’t solely based on the romantic relationships that I’m in, or in my case aren’t in at the moment. I work hard and I’m very mindful about how I treat myself and what kind of energy I surround myself with. Being happy isn’t something that magically happens when you get a partner. Being happy comes from gratitude, friendships, mindfulness, and self-love.

I love my life, even though I’m constantly working on reaching the goals and dreams I have set for myself. But the reason I find so much happiness in the life that I have is that it’s all I have. This, here, RIGHT NOW! It’s all that matters, and the only thing that’s for certain. We don’t know how long we get to stay, how many people we get to love, how many times we get to hug our friends and family. So why do we live in the past that has already left us, or the future that we have no guaranty of?

So yes, I am lonely sometimes, but this is all a journey, and is equally as much one, with or without a partner ❤️Make sure you enjoy it!

The Dealbreaker

Sometimes relationships end because people fall out of love. Sometimes it’s the right person at the wrong time or the wrong person at the right time. Sometime’s it just doesn’t feel right. Other times one is left without really knowing the reason.

All of the above. I’ve been there. But this time I want to talk about dealbreakers.

Sometimes the right person comes along. Someone who is funny, kind, liked by your friends, the sex is great, the conversations even better, not afraid to show affection, or to plan things for the future together.

And sometimes that perfect bubble bursts when you realize that you both have a dealbreaker that completely crashes with each other.

I experienced that a little while ago. Everything was going great until it wasn’t. For a few months I was no longer the single girl, but in a weird turn of events (after a few years of errors and heartbreaks) I found myself in a relationship again. A relationship with an absolutely wonderful guy. We had so much fun together, and I missed him whenever we were apart. I guess we lived in a bubble of the starting phase of it all. As time went by though, he realized that having kids of his own was more important to him than he first thought.

This is a thing that’s a dealbreaker to me. I think kids are wonderful, and I love my son more than anything, but I can’t picture myself starting all over with a baby after so many years. I’ve written about this before, and just like I wrote then I still am 99% sure that more kids are not in the future for me.

And to continue on in a relationship with someone that truly wants kids of their own would be bitterness waiting to happen. I don’t want to put someone through that, and neither did he.

Breakups are sad, no matter how right they are. But I do want to send out a thank you to this wonderful man that I got to share my life and my thoughts with for a few months.

Opening up was hard, but you gave me hope again. Even though I opened up to something that eventually ended, I am no longer as afraid and pessimistic about love and dating, as I used to be.

You helped me out of a place where I feared love. A place where every potential someone was more of a potential heartbreak than anything else. You proved to me that there are still nice guys out there. And yes, nice boys do kiss like that!

Thank you for helping me out of the dark hole of the dating world that I had fallen into.

I wish you nothing but the best, and the woman that ends up with you will be so, so lucky!

Lots of love  ❤️

Dating destroyed my creativity…

The Shitty Side of Being Single

I know that I write a lot about self-love, taking myself out on dates and personal growth while being single, and I stand by all of that! I think it’s so incredibly important to learn to love oneself! I think it’s important to grow and be mindful of the situations that you find yourself in!

That being said, there are moments in single life (as well as in relationship life) that are just shitty. So in the name of honesty, here are some shitty sides of being single:

💩 No Spoon Sundays

I’m not saying you can’t spoon someone on a Sunday even though you’re single, but there will be Sundays when you wake up alone and all you wish for is for someone to big spoon you all day on the couch while you both eat junk food and candy, and watch Netflix. Sometimes those days are a little shitty.

💩 The Ghosting

Anyone who’s ever been through the dating game for a while will have been through the shitty experience of being completely ghosted and it sucks! I’m not talking about going on one date, not feeling it and then moving on. Even though I wish we were all that upfront and honest about our feelings. I even wish I was that bold!

No, I’m talking about the settings where you’ve dated for a while, you know you’re super into the other person, and you’re pretty confident that they feel the same way (or even better; they tell you that they are *melt*) and then all of the sudden *POOF* they’re gone. No explanation, no heads up, they just disappear. It’s one of the really shitty and unfair sides of being single and dating. People have so little respect for other people’s feelings that they do not dare to voice their own. It’s a bloody shame, and I’m pretty sure we can do better than that!

💩 The Shareable Memories

You know that moment where you find yourself watching an extraordinary sunset, you travel and something unbelievable takes place, or there’s just a regular day where something small, but beautiful happens. I love moments like that, but sometimes I come across them and I just wish that I had someone that could experience it together with me. Someone that I can later sit and reminisce with. Someone to share the moment that will soon become a memory with. Although I want to mention that each and every moment like that makes me so grateful to be alive and there ❤️

💩 Couple’s Nights

That moment where you find out that you’re the only one at the party who arrives alone. Sometimes you just own it, other times, it feels a little shitty.

💩 Paper (t)Issues

When you find yourself on that white marble seat, needing some toilet paper, and then realizing that you left the newly bought pack of 18 rolls in the kitchen. That’s just shitty, plain and simple. Knight in shining armor (with toilet paper to the rescue), where the fuck are you when you’re needed?!

💩

So there you have it; Some of the shitty sides of being single.

It’s not all laughs, adventures, hot escapades and smiles… But most of the time it’s a pretty awesome life if that’s what you make it into ❤️

Love yourself and the pieces of shit that comes your way won’t matter all that much❤️ Just clean it off, put on a smashing new outfit and rock on! You got this!